All My Resistance

All My Resistance

All my resistance will never be distance enough
Because even as I’m saying no,
You’re playing with my hair,
Wrapping your arm around my waist.
And I tell you to stop,
But you don’t
And I give up resisting.

I should feel loved and cared for;
And I do, for the moment.
But then I feel guilty.
Because she doesn’t know,
And everyone else does.
I’m in your arms and she has no idea
That I’m anything more than a friend.

But is it really my fault?
Is it my fault that we are each other’s weakness?
It’s just so natural for us to be together.
But we’re not.
You have her,
And I have no one-
Because there’s no one I want other than you.

Yet you are the one to blame,
For pretending to offer something
That you are not free to give.
I try to push myself away from you.
But all my resistance will never be distance enough,
Because even as I’m saying no
My heart is saying yes.


*Note- This piece was mainly written as a speculation to the thoughts and feelings which may lead up to dishonesty in a relationship. No, I have not cheated on anyone (I had a feeling some of my WDC parents might be getting a bit worried! ) but it is based on personal experiences. Thanks for your time!