erased emotions

erased emotions, things I somehow forgot
ten-pin illusions of summer, at the bowling alley
"yes, mama always has to win"
for your third marriage (I lived through four)
you chose a flashy pink wedding dress
and were photographed jumping in puddles
as the spring rain — predictable —
spoiled your april ceremony

I adored that picture for years afterwards
scrapbook clippings which somehow did
testify to your love, although since I’ve grown
to doubt its sincerity and intensity
your recycled promises never tallied
disrupting my inner harmony
bringing me only extra woe…

is the artist singing in the shower?
a lovely baritone which should have made you proud

back in the Dark Ages of my youth
you spent your life typing meaningless words
trying to be honest with yourself,
when friends couldn’t be found for your only son
paying them to attend birthday parties
did you wonder at my desire
slipping into the serenity of complete oubli?
I am the only hostage of war
the one between you and your failures
no, our life was no carriage ride in the park
unless it was through the naked branches of winter
the loveliest of days,
but we have never agreed on anything



erased emotions
[2007.22.4…d]
Written for Lynn Hick’s “Take my Phrase Please” Contest