I hate the pressure

A darkness that you can't escape,
the pitch black slave feeling of living in someones shadow
just eats at you inside untill you start beleiving it...
i need straight A's like him
I need a perfect relationship like him
I have to be in perfect shape like him
I hate the pressure, like all eyes are on you, waiting for you to mess something up that he did perfectly
if he has such a perfect life, why does he complain to everyone about it?
hes not depressed
hes not being watched every second to see if he screws something up
because he doesnt
its me that makes the mistakes and gets yelled at, then pushed aside, like the creepy looking doll you never play with anymore because people made fun of you when you did...
but why does he pretend to be miserable?
hes being a poser, so why the hell would i want to be him?