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I wonder what it would feel like if I was still in love or if I am in love, in an unconscious sort of way. I wonder how things would be had my heart not been shattered, if that is the right word for it. I wonder how I would feel, what might be different? I often wonder why and how, but those questions can be answered simply….just not yet and not by anyone I will know physically on this earth. Frustration and impatience always haunt my spirit and my demeanor yet sadness seems so distant. Sadness is not the right word for how I feel when I get in this mood; it is a mood that I cannot describe in a single word or a single paragraph. The human emotion was created so fascinatingly; so many feelings can be experienced at one time it leaves me in awe. Hate, sorrow, love, longing...each of those words coming together to form an ultimate feeling: this mood of mine, but each word takes on its own level of complexity and gravity if that is the right word for it, making this mood even harder to touch on in writing. The true meaning of how a person is feeling is simply too deep for any person to understand even remotely. A description of a feeling in words is utterly impossible, or at least in my opinion. There are words like really and very that people have created as an attempt to gain a more accurate understanding of the different, multifaceted levels a single word can hold in every emotion and situation. Although a great effort, only the person experiencing the emotion could accurately describe how they feel, yet not with words. Even great writers and poets barely touch base on describing their sensations. As I stated before, hate, sorrow, love, longing. Those four words are the closest to describing this mood of mine, yet another question is brought up, do love and sorrow not contradict one another? Do they all connect with each other in a way that might help to create a more accurate description of this mood of mine? If it was not for the love that I had or have I would not fear hate or longing. And am I only feeling a sense of sorrow because I love? The feelings and emotions of any human being are too elaborate to touch base with when it comes to describing it. Each mood experienced can be described with different words on different multifaceted levels by different people because each person has their own connotation of a word.