they do love you...

There are tears in your eyes. Your eyes seem older in this one moment. I’ve never seen them like this. Are you ok? I wish you would tell me what’s wrong. It kills me when you’re so silent. You think I can’t hear. But sometimes you take me into your room. I watch you cry then. You tell me everything. Your eyes always seemed still somewhat childish then. But now they’re too foreign. What has happened to change you? You’ve grown up too fast.

You lean forward and kiss my head. You hug me around the neck. You ruffle my hair, like you always do. But this time you do it somewhat rougher. As if trying to imprint the feeling of my hair into your fingers. As if this were the last time. You hug me for a long time and bury your face in my shoulder. I nuzzle your ear. I don’t want you to let go. I like you here.

You’re crying now, into my shoulder and I try to comfort you. You mutter something but I couldn’t understand it. My ears are good, but not that good. You need to learn not to mumble. Your voice shook too much. What happened to my strong little Michael?

I know where I am, Michael, and it’s ok. My leg just hurts. It’ll get better. There’s nothing to worry about. I’ve been there for you for almost your whole life. I saw you grow up. Remember when we went to the beach? I let you pour sand all over me. It took a week to get it all out of my hair. But it was worth it. You smiled and laughed and it made me happy to see you so serene.

You begin to pull away now, I shift my head. I try to hold on to you. I don’t know why, but I didn’t want you to let go. I feel your hands move up to my collar and it began to loosen around my neck. The panic starts in me. Don’t take that off I thought. You’re not allowed to take that off, remember?

Your face pauses by my left ear and you kiss it. Then you whisper something in my ear. You whisper “I love you”. That I heard. That I understood. And it scared me. Why are you saying that now? What’s going on? You take a few steps back to stand by your parents. I try to get myself up now, despite the pain in my foreleg, but a strong but gentle hand pushes me back onto the hard, cold counter.

You look angry now. I hope you’re not angry at me. I won’t try to get up again. I promise. You turn your face upwards and glare at your father. Don’t be mad at your parents, please. They love you, Michael. They want what’s best for you.

More hands are laid on me. They reach under me and I’m no longer on the counter. Someone else’s arms cradle me, my leg aches a bit. I don’t look up at my kidnappers, I can’t take my eyes off of you. My eyes are pleading with you. Several thoughts trying to reach out to you, my dear friend.

What’s going on?

Where’s my collar?
Can’t I just go home? My leg doesn’t hurt anymore…

I love you, Michael.

I love you…

I’m behind glass now. My kidnappers put me down on another cold surface. They walk out and leave me there—alone. I stare out of the glass at you. You’re crying so much now. Please don’t cry. I hate it when you cry. Your dad’s holding your hand now, I can see you squeezing it, but I can see you’re still angry at them. Please don’t be angry with them. Please, Michael? They do love you, just like I do.

Something changes in the walls then—just a small sound difference, but I hear it. The air around me gets hazy but I can’t stop staring out at you.

My thoughts wander. I start to calm down, my breathing becomes more rhythmic. I close my eyes and then I was staring out at a peaceful meadow. I was all alone.

I open my eyes quickly and take in the familiar but still unpleasant scene. I move my head, which had fallen to the side and place it between be front paws. I stare out of the glass. One of my kidnappers walks over to you and your parents. I think she’s telling you something. My eyes close again

I stare out at the meadow again. There’s one more like me at the other side, staring at me as I stare back.

Wait! I just remembered, Michael! Your birthday is next month! I didn’t even get to tell you what your parents are planning on getting you!

I open my eyes again and stare out of the glass. You’re not there anymore. This pulls at a heart string and I try to shift my body, but my limbs refuse to move. What’s happening to me? Where did you go? Did you run out? I must have done something bad, huh? Will it help to say I’m sorry?

You’re father’s there now. Just him. Your mom must have run after you to calm you down. I seem to notice your dad standing there for the first time. His eyes are wet and glassy too. Remember that time you broke mom’s vase? He was really mad. But he didn’t hurt you. He does love you, Michael—wherever you are.

There are more in the meadow now. It’s still peaceful, but less empty. One of them turns to me calmly and our eyes connect. I feel like I know this one. But I can’t go. My limbs won’t move towards her. Just look once more. They’re going to be there now—all of them. And you’re going to be able to move. Everything will be ok. I keep telling myself that.

Slowly I open my eyes again and look out of the glass. There’s no one there now. Just one of my kidnappers sitting in a chair looking over something. She glances up at me for a second. Then back down.

My heart breaks. Where are you? Tears fall from my eyes as I wondered what I did. I’m sorry, Michael. Do you hate me? Please don’t hate me. I love you…