Having Children vs. Buying a Pet

I, like any normal person, crave mutual love and adoration. I'm honestly tired of fawning over my friends pets. I want something to call my own and be my little baby, without actually having a baby. Humans are entirely too much maintenance and responsibility for me, whereas pets don't demand constant care that'll last for a fucking lifetime and ruin your figure.

*shudders at the thought of being pregnant*

I don't understand how parenthood, a quintessential duty of obligation and accountability, can mistakenly be perceived as a relatively insubstantial, insignificant topic, seeing as the role itself implicates a lifetime committment - one that identifies the parents as the governing authorities responsible for the fate and welfare of their children.

With that said, not everyone should want, have, or NEED children. JUST GET A PET FOR GOD'S SAKE.

WHY?

(1) No Long Term Committment Required + No Outstanding Living Costs/Fees

With a pet, the duration of time that you are held both accountable and responsible for their well being doesn't last a lifetime, and when they die before you, their departure won't be considered such an epic tragedy or profound disaster that will forever damage your soul and clutter your conscience only to later serve as a basis and thematic model for the plotline a Lifetime movie. You'll be upset, but YOU'LL GET OVER IT. The same cannot be said for losing a child.

(2) They Won't Take It Personally Because They Won't Understand!!!!

[This Part's Boring and Technical Sounding]

[Stating The Obvious - But Doing So By Using "Big Words!!!!!" ]

When subjected to mild to moderate trauma, pets have the remarkable ability to perservere, recovering quickly and easily without developing excess baggage, simply based on the fact that minor instances of verbal and physical abuse don't hold the same signifigance to pets as they do to humans. Pets lack much of the analytical, reasoning abilities that humans possess, making it much more difficult for them to evaluate the malevolence of the act itself in order to ascertain the signifigance of a situation that would normally lead a human to to feel and define a clear cut emotion. Not suprisingly, dogs tend not to personalize most events [unless they are ongoing and frequent], at least to the extent of being able to recall them, incidentally associating a negative emotion with the traumatic experience of the event, subsequently forming a "grudge".

Do you speak dog? No. Likewise, dogs don't speak "human". Therefore, due to the communication differences between the two opposing species [each of whom exhibit considerable differences in reasoning capability levels, one being signifigantly higher than the other], a non-human animal is less likely to react to a negative event/action - be it yelling or hitting- in a manner which would typically lead a human into the beginning stages of the development of a psychological complex.

Animals shouldn't be abused, and this piece is in no way advocating animal abuse or human violence. However, if a pet owner happens to be emotionally unstable, tempermentally unfit, and physically abusive, as a consequence of his abusive actions pets have a greater chance of growing up and becoming relatively normal and well adjusted than humans if placed in the same species equivalent circumstance.

BOTTOM LINE: PETS ARE MUCH BETTER SUITED TO SUCCESSFULLY HANDLE LIVING UNDER THE LONG TERM CARE OF A TROUBLED SOUL, SIMPLE MINDED BEING, OR SEXUAL DEVIANT. PETS ARE OVERALL A BETTER "GIFT" TO MANAGE FOR SCREW UPS. Additionally, abused animals are a lesser threat to society than abused humans, even if you take into consideration pets who bite and/or maul other humans [who are typically "put down" immediately after biting and/or being categorized as a threat to humans].

(3) Change In Lifestyle NOT REQUIRED!!!

You won't have to set an example or be a role model for a pet - allowing you to still do the typical things you love to do - get drunk, act stupid, curse, yell, scream, or do whatever right in front of it without impacting society as a whole by creating a social deviant. Dogs don't care if your a loser, they don't mimic your bad habits, and they'll never talk back or go against you. To your dog you are and always will be GOD. Can't same the same thing for a human.

(4) Decisions Are Made At The Appropriate Time With The Appropriate End

Pets don't do, they just are. With a pet you don't have to worry about them making a living on their own, figuring out what career they'd like to choose, or laying out the framework for their ambitious "life plan". With pets, it doesn't matter, THEY'LL BE FINE. Stray animals seem to do well for themselves, and if they are a threat, or if they sick or in need of attention, SOMEONE WILL HELP. Be it animal control, animal shelters, animal kennels, or people in the neighborhood, someone will nuture a stray animal if it comes around and shows them attention often enough. Worse case scenario is that a pet is put to sleep - but really, what is the harm in that? The decision is already made for them, and they are immediately taking out of their misery. They couldn't survive this world in some way, shape or form, so they LEFT IT. People seem to be able to understand it and eventually accept it when they're pet is put to sleep. Naturally, they're upset, but they get over it and get another pet. The same cannot be said for a human. Nobody can make the decision of life or death for them [unless they are on life support], so they are kept alive without really living. Euthanasia is generally condemned and not universally accepted, suicide is viewed as a "selfish" act, and if another person chooses to intercede in the matter by taking action and killing the struggling, "stray" human, it's considered murder. The decision of life or death didn't end naturally nor occur normally for the victim, and despite the fact that he/she was a menace to society, a criminal, a lowlife, a loser, a thief, a rapist, an abuser - his life was still taken from him, the decision made for him. His murder required a trial, an investigation, a judge, an attorney, a jury, a family, a jail, a prison, a sentence - does all of this sound a bit complicated to you? Let me clarify that I am in no way advocating the killing off of the underbelly or society [the criminals] or the elimination of "undesirables" - the weak, the feeble, the old, the restless, the retarded, the illl, the insane. All of these people deserve care and comfort; they shouldn't just be "put to sleep" unless they specifically ask to be! But, notice how long, drawn out, and complicated it became just to simply describe to you in detail the steps, consequences, and aftermath related to the death of one man? It was a lengthy, time consuming analytical process that heavily relied upon a multitude of factors, each with its own distinctive ethical considerations.

This type of analysis is not applied to pets. The decision is made for them. SEE HOW LESS COMPLICATED THE SITUATION IS WHEN IT DOESN'T INVOLVE HUMANS?

Conclusion

Why have kids? Why trouble yourself? Why not be satisfied with a furry lovable creature that demands barely a fraction of the time, energy, and resources that'd you'd be dedicating to a baby? Why make a proverbial "dent" in your nifty former lifestyle, interests, hobbies, priorities, hopes, and dreams?


Babies are horrendously lame.

[That is all].