| Written for the Dear...... contest
Miss S Pixie
22 Yew Court
16 May 2007
Dear Mr Tall
I write with regard to the incident that took place last week involving your car.
I attach here a photograph so that you can be reminded of the extent of the damage to my boat. As you may recall, you neglected to put the handbrake on when you parked and your car rolled forward, off the quay and into my boat.
I feel I should inform you that I have today spoken with the insurance company. Interestingly enough, they seem to be under the impression that you were running away from wild bears at the time who had, by chance, decided to attack the car, and that is why you left the vehicle without securing the handbrake. I have, of course, explained that this not the situation, and that there are no wild bears on the Isle of Wight, much less on a day trip to the harbour.
The cost of damage to my boat is, of course, going to be considerable as it is a very expensive boat, and I expect that your car will have to be written off. You will note that the address that I am using to write to you is different from the address you gave me after the event had occurred. I am sure that in the commotion you simply forgot to give me the correct address but fortunately I was able to track down the right address from a friend at MI5.
Another point I feel I should mention, is the recent correspondence that I have received from your solicitors. I understand your concerns but feel that pressing charges against me would, perhaps, not be the soundest of moves. After all, taking the case to court will only incur more costs than already necessary, and we both know that I will win. After all, my boat is big enough isn’t it? I’m sure you could not have neglected to see it when you abandoned your car without properly securing the handbrake. Especially as it has recently had a nice shiny, rain-proof, dirt-proof coat of paint. I am sure, however, that the court will be lenient on you, after all, with your hallucinations of wild animals and short-term memory loss, it is likely you will be sent to a hospital for the mentally ill.
I will be replying to your solicitors immediately and look forward to your reply to this letter in due course.
Body Word Count: 401