This Pain

This apparation has no indication of what I have lost
But the hesitation towards temptation can't suffice the cost
To see the pain and suffering, to fell the blade deep within
I want to dip my hands into the blood and rejoice at my sin
Fuck all those who said I couldn't make it
Fuck all those who stood there and let me take it
This temperment has become a permenant fixture upon my mind
The relief of such doesn't exist and it's something I can't seem to find
The continuation of my imagination has sucked me dry
Masterbation mixed with domination has left me to ask why
Cut it deep, cut it hard, make sure I let it spill
This pain won't go away, not even with the purest of will
Watch me now as I cry myself to sleep
That weakness you prevail over me I don't want to keep
You call me an angel and set up high
The only angel I am is that of death and tonight you will die
With determination and coordination, this knife will go through
Examination and desperation is the hell I've created for you
So kill me softly and do it now
Tell me you hate me and tell me how
I don't want to live long enough for pain
It sets in deeply and always leaves a stain
This is my final goodbye
But I want to tell you before I die
Have no thoughts of me and go about your life
In the end, I'll leave you my knife
So here it is, my final goodbye
And the end to all the lies.