Letter to Kevin

Letter to Kevin

Kevin my brother…my friend. We were so close—days spent together biking, wandering in the woods and talking …catching critters. Do you remember the lightning bugs?? And catching the chipmunk that got loose in the house? We tried to make pets of all of them, didn’t we?

We spent a lot of time sharing our love of music…I taught you a few chords on the guitar and you just ran with it. Remember breaking into song around the dining room table at the Kane’s house after a party? You sang melody and I sang harmony. We were so good together…everyone said so. It was so easy then. We were so connected.

After you moved away to Kentucky, we always talked about meeting somewhere in the middle—the mountains of Pennsylvania. We would rent a cabin and sit in front of the fireplace playing guitar and singing –just you, me and the boys. Somehow that just never happened. There was always a lack of time or money. One of my biggest regrets is that we will never do that, you and I. Maybe Warren, Susan, Jessie, the boys and I can do that for you. I hope you would hear us.

It seems in the end, I hardly knew the man you had become.
Once cheerful and funny, you became angry and cynical
Did you spend a lifetime hiding all that pain?
Why couldn’t I see that? Why didn’t you let me help you?

I felt like I was on the outside looking through the glass. I couldn’t make it different for you…you needed to do that for yourself. I wish you had found a way. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to protect and love you, finally learning that it was important for each of us to be responsible for ourselves. I no longer ask “why wasn’t it enough?” or “why couldn’t I be strong enough for both of us?” I think we both know the answers now.

My wish for you is that you relish in the peace, hope and joy that is yours for now and ever more.


~ Peace

Donna Harmon
May 16, 2007