The Four Little Marauders

Once upon a time there were four little Marauders who'd finally grown up and were ready to make their way in the world. So they left Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to seek their fortunes.

The first little Marauder was named Peter. He decided to make his house out of straw. And no sooner than he finished building it did the Big Bad Voldemort come along.

"Little rat! Little rat! Let me in!" he yelled.

To which Peter replied, "OK."

And he joined forces with Voldemort.

They went on to the next Marauder's dwelling. Little James had made his house from sticks.

Big Bad Voldemort and Peter cried,"Little Potty, little Potty! Let us in!"

To which James replied, "Not by the hairs on your balding skins!"

Voldemort killed him instantly.

The next (and final) house belonged to Sirius and Remus who were madly in love with each other. They were also very clever and had used magically reinforced brick in their construction.

Outside they heard Big Bad Voldemort and Peter. It was rather difficult not to, since the villains were yelling.

"Little dogs, little dogs, let us in!" came the cry.

Sirius whispered to Remus, "How did he find out that I'm an Animagus?"

Remus shrugged. "Dunno. I suppose Peter told him."

Sirius scowled. "The rat!"

Together, they bellowed in reply, "Not by the hairs on your balding skins!"

Voldemort couldn't kill them. That magically reinforced brick was something to be reckoned with. So he sent Peter in his rat form to do all his dirty work.

Peter scrabbled over the roof and headed toward the chimney.

Luckily, Remus and Sirius had heard the rat's pawsteps. A huge pot of boiling water sat in the hearth, waiting for him.

Plop!

Peter fell in with a splash and was promptly cooked alive.

Remus looked over at Sirius. "Want some rat soup?"

Then they burst out laughing. Of course, Big Bad Voldemort was sorely vexed. He hated laughter and he hated that now he had to finish off the rest of the Marauders.

So Voldemort stomped around angrily in their yard for a bit and said quite a few words that I can't repeat here.

"All right. You two leave me no choice!" he yelled.

Then Remus and Sirius heard him scramble over the roof as Peter had done. When he fell down the chimney, they were ready for him.

The last thing he saw were two wands pointing directly at him. The transfiguration spell hit him square between the eyes.

And so, Remus enjoyed a nice quiet evening with Sirius, nibbling and gnawing on an enormous doggie biscuit.