The Golden Goose Heist

“Shhh! Quiet down you guys! This is the last place we want to be caught in!”

“Well, Wolfie, if you wanted quiet accomplices, you shouldn’t have asked the Three Bears along on this heist. Momma and Poppa are always complaining it’s too this or it’s too that. And that cub of theirs’ is always crying about something! Why’d you invite them anyhow?”

“Because, Georgie Porgie, they are the brawn we need to get into the vault beneath Mother Goose’s house. “

“Still, I wish Goldie Locks had accepted to baby sit the cub. Naturally, she needed to spend most of her time at Rumpelstiltskin’s getting her roots done tonight. That guy really has a great job, turning that mop of hair to gold.”

“Look,, Georgie, I don’t give a darn what Goldie does with her time. The only gold I’m interested in are the golden eggs that pet goose of Mother G’s lays. Now, shaddup and let’s get to that vault!”

“Momma, it’s dark in here! I’m scared! And the big bad Wolf has threatened to eat me!”

“Hush, Cub! It’s too tight in this tunnel for me, but you don’t hear me complaining, do you?”

“Momma Bear, if you don’t kept that brat quiet, I will eat him!”

“Grrr…I’d like to see you try that, Wolf!”

“Sorry, Poppa Bear, but I am as scared of getting caught as your cub is afraid of the dark..”

“If you’re so scared, then maybe you shouldn’t have taken on this venture.”

“Look, Pops, if I, we, don’t try this, it means we will continue to be under Mother G’s thumb for the rest of our lives. She has us locked in Gooseland so tight with all the King’s men and knights guarding its borders twenty-four seven. Bush could learn a lesson from her with all his border problems.

If we can get to that Golden Goose, we can use its eggs to bribe our way outta here.”

“Well, you do make a good argument about that. Hard to believe that beneath that sweet, old woman facade is a dictator worse than Snow White’s step-mother.”

“Yeah, she had us all fooled. I should have made a meal of her when I had the chance instead of listening to her drivel about how good it is in Gooseland. I quite literally had the wool pulled over my eyes.”

“Mother Goose still hasn’t approved my Ikea order for beds and chairs. She believes I should be making all our furniture. Who do I look like, Gepetto?”

“Gepetto? Isn’t he the guy who fathered that blockhead, Pinocchio? None-the-less, I heard Gepetto got so deep in debt because of his son’s shenanigans he had to open a pizza shop.”

“Poppa? Who are those guys behind us?”

“Okay you idiots! Don’t move! You’re all under arrest for trespassing!”

“Crap! What happened to those look-outs I posted, Georgie?”

“Wolfie, I warned you it was a mistake to give that job to the Three Blind Mice!”

“Heh, you’re right.”

Word Count: 500