Alone

I gaze into the pond, staring past the water lettuce and the Koi fish down into the darkness where I find myself.  My reflection looks back at me and appears to be just as curious about me.  I wonder when I became a woman. 

For the briefest of moments
I close my eyes and I am ten years old. 
Surrounded by family and friends I tilt my head back and laugh, carefree and easy.  Following my brother, I run outside to where we watch the birds as the clouds float by.

I open my eyes and the woman is still questioning me.  I am surround by the quiet stillness, but inside me there is chaos. 

Quick again now
My eyes are closed
I am twenty years old.
Juggling the demands of career and motherhood.  There is work to be done, but there is always tomorrow.  All the time in the world.

I open my eyes slowly, but still manage to catch a glimpse of the woman as she starts to cry.  When did it slip away?  When did youth escape me?          

Past thirty now.  Every moment.  Every minute.  To be loved.  To be savored.  Every day is a gift, an opportunity!  As I approach middle age I do so with boldness, with eyes wide open.  To live for the here and now - to stand steadfast in this moment!  The dreams yet to be realized shall no longer wait!

I see her still and now she is hopeful, strong.  A single tear falls from my face.  A tear of joy, resolve and adventure. In the ripple of the pond she disappears and I am left alone with myself once again.