Eternal Darkness

They say the best art,
Comes from misery and loss.
Masterpieces are usually made
At a very high cost.
People say heartache and tragedy,
Always make you stronger.
But there's always a catch:
"Hold on a little longer!"
When darkness is all around you,
You must find the light.
It will come with the morning,
Just make it through the night.
Well I've been searching,
         And this night seems endless.
                   I'm stuck in a cycle...
                             I'm stuck in this darkness...
In my mind there is guilt.
From the things I have done,
The people I've hurt,
And the places I've gone.
In my heart there is sorrow,
For the people I love.
And I hope they forgive me
For all of the above.
For the things I won't mention,
Because they'll cause great pain.
And for my behavior...
For being insane.
I have lost many people
Held dear to my heart.
I've known too much suffering,
Since my life's start.
And I fear as life drags on,
It will never end...
And I'll end up in darkness,
Again, and again.
So as hours go by,
         I try not to think.
                   I constantly smoke.
                             I constantly drink.
Always waiting for the blessings
To follow all the strife.
The tragedies of character.
The tragedies of life.
Yet it has only made me weaker
Every time my heart breaks...
So I pray that God forgives me....
....For the life I just might take.