Death and Texas Hold 'em

"Certainty? In this world nothing is
certain but death and taxes."
"Well, that suits me," intoned dour Death
"Now pass the cheesy nachos."

He sat with War and Famine
Pestilence was ill
So making up the fourth hand
was God's Accountant, Bill

It made a nice change to get out
and leave the grind of London
Death's Tuesday night game was renowned
No Limit, Texas Hold 'em

Bill had had a run of luck
and came Heads Up with Death
"I'll wager anything you like
if you have any chips left."

"I have none," answered Death with doom
"But I think I like my hand.
Why don't we raise the stakes a bit
and bet your life on chance?"

"It's not on chance I'm betting, Death.
I don't believe in luck.
A good Accountant knows the odds
and these are looking good.

"Armageddon's quite a lot to
bet the bloomin' farm on.
How about we bet on England,
South of the Wash to Croydon?"

Death clicked his joints in bony thought
and weighed up Bill for tells
"I'll take those odds against your life
and raise you Tunbridge Wells."

Once agreed, Bill lay down his hand
and grinned until he watched
his Full House fall with Kings and Queens
'gainst Death's lucky straight flush

Bill died of shock where he was sat
He'd paid up punctually
"Like Mr Franklin said of tax
I am the other certainty."

(40 lines)

Written for Team GB as a nominated item for Project Write World and not used - acme