Grandmother.

I just wanted to let you know
I didn't mean it
When I left you out in the rain
I didn't mean it
Whenever I complained
I didn't mean it
When I never shed a tear
I didn't mean it
When I told you I had fear
For you knew I was brave
And you knew I was strong
You loved me night and day
When I was a baby, and all along
But now that you are gone
I can't help but wonder
Why I ever made those horrible blunders?
Why I never told you how I felt
How your beautiful everything
Made my heart melt
Your warm smile and your helpful ways
Your comfy nights and endless days
I can't imagine
Never thanking you
For all the love you gave me
And the light you let shine through
You made me smile and I never knew it
I just wish I could turn back time
Because every day I think of how I blew it
I never got to look straight into your eyes
To see the love, the sadness
The color, shape and size
I get angry when people talk about you
and say these things
That I never knew
I am heartbroken
That I couldn't have spent more time with you
I couldn't be sadder
That I have to blame you
For leaving me alone
With nothing left to do
I was oblivious when you left
I didn't even know
that the next Christmas I had
you wouldn't show
After I found out the horrible news
I couldn't comprehend
What I was about to lose
I lost you, my life and my soul
My angel, my sunshine, my hope and my whole
When I saw your face on the infamous bed
I thought you were going to come back
Just like my mom said
But alas, no, she was wrong
But I wouldn't accept it
Because I knew you were strong
You couldn't leave me because you hadn't before
And seeing you like this?
It was time for war...
Between myself, the world and everything in between
I fought the truth
Nothing like you had ever seen
I wish you could know I wish you were here
To help me cope and deal
With every loss, hope and fear
But you are gone now
And I can see
That you and I
Were not meant to be