You Talkin' to Me?

Written for the "The Dialogue 500: IT'S BACK, BABY!"  contest. The prompt was:
People love to play video games. They come in all varities and types. Let's say you were so engrossed in your favorite video game that you began to imagine it was talking to you. What would it say?

You Talkin' to Me?

“OK, Karen, that’s the fourth time you’ve gotten me killed in 7 minutes. It’s just a Kobold for crying out loud!”

“Excuse me?”

“Quit looking over your shoulder and look at me while I’m talking to you.”

“Are you talking to me?”

“No, I’m talking to the other Karen who created me and has been steadily killing me off for two years now.”

“This is crazy.”

“What’s crazy is the fact that I’m a mage and you play me like I’m a warrior. I wear cloth and wield a staff. I’m not good with this melee stuff. Cast fireball a little more often or something. Use my magic a little more often, will ya? Having 10,000 mana points does me no good when I’m dead.”

“I’m … sorry. I don’t know what to say.”

“Say you’ll quit pretending I’m wearing plate armor and duel-wielding epic swords. Say you’re sorry for giving me this phallic hair-do. Say you’ll re-spec me from fire to frost so I have a better chance of surviving our encounters.”

“I like fire. It kills faster. It takes us a third of the time to kill than it does that Paladin.”

“Yeah, but I get shields and a water elemental if we go the frost mage route. Can we at least try it? You owe me, you know, after getting me banged up so much.”

“I guess. I’ll re-spec you when we get back to the keep. It’ll cost some gold though.”

“Not nearly as much gold as this repair bill is going to cost. Are we near my body yet? I’d like to respawn. I hate being a ghost.”

“Almost there. We need to finish these quests and turn them in before heading to Stormwind. And you’ve almost dinged to the next level, so we’ll need the gold to train and re-specialize to frost.”

“Yeah, well, if you can keep me from dying this time we should finish it up soon.”

“I’ll do my best. Hey, your body’s nearby. Respawn and let’s get this over with.”

“Ahhh, much better. Hey, you think that night-elf hunter, Ravenwing is still in Stormwind? I sure wouldn’t mind hooking up with him again …”

“Eww! This is a family game! Quit talking like that. My kids play you sometimes! Do you say stuff like this when they’re online?”

“Gutter brain. I meant questing with him. Seriously, you might want to think about turning off the computer and going out more. Maybe get a life…”


Word Count: 414