Miracle on the 35th Floor

“Damnit! This couldn’t have happened at a worse time!”

“Yep, elevators are like that when you think you have something important to attend to.”

“Hey! When did you get on the elevator?”

“I think it was on the fifth floor, but I can’t be sure.”

“What do you mean you can’t be sure?”

“Mmm, it looks like we may be stuck here for awhile.”

“Arghhh! Why doesn’t someone answer this phone!”

“Goodness, Jeffrey! You sure do have some anger issues! I was warned that this could be a volatile situation.”

“Okay, who the hell are you and how do you know my name?”

“Calm down, and I’ll tell you.”

“Okay, I’m calm, but explain this quick.”

“First off, Jeff, I know the reason why you are on this elevator. You are planning on going to the roof to throw yourself off.”

“How’d you know that?”

“Hold on, let me finish. I’m Gabriel, I’m your Guardian Angel and I was sent here by God to let you know that suicide is not the answer. Besides, suicide is a big no-no. It could land you in Purgatory for a very long time.”

“That’s easy for you to say, Gabe. You’ve never had all the stress and problems that I have. Just lost my horticulture business because my partner embezzled all our profits, I’m being evicted, my car has been repossessed…”

“Maybe not, but you can’t possibly think that you have been the only one who has had to suffer ill-fortune. There have been some great men through-out the ages who have had to endure far worse.”

“Oh, please! Spare me the history lesson.”

“One wasn’t forthcoming, Jeff, but I wanted you to know that, no matter how bad and bleak life looks, God is always with you to get you through the worse.”

“Yeah, sure He is! Where was he when my partner screwed me over?”

“Do you really want to know, Jeff?”

“Yeah! I do!”

“God was setting up your new life. He just didn’t think you would falter like this. If you must know, He was always proud of the way you handled your life.”

“He was? I didn’t think I did anything special, except to pick a jerk for a partner.”

“Sure you did. You worked exceptionally hard to get all those city parks bids. Do you know that you beat out some of your stiffest competition with your diligence and attention to details?”

“Well, I do have an eye for the beauty of Nature.”

“How are you feeling now, Jeff?”

“I’m calmer, but would love to know what I’ll be doing next in my life.”

“Let’s leave it to say, God has something special in mind for you.”

“YES! The elevator is moving! So what is it?”

“How do you feel about rainforests?”

“Hey! Youse guys okay in dere?”

“Yeah, Gabe and I…Gabe? Gabriel? Oh yeah, an angel. Yes, I’m fine in here. Do you by any chance know what the phone number for the Peace Corps is?”