Dare to Fly

“Given the choice between the experience of pain and nothing, I would choose pain.”

~ William Faulkner

This quote, which I had not come across before, put me in mind of the saying “it is better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.” In other words, experience is always valuable, even painful experience. This is a valid point of view and not one with which I completely disagree. However, if the quote is taken to mean “I would seek out pain rather than avoid it” then the principle is somewhat different. To pursue suffering for its own sake is closer to masochism than to wisdom. And an experience is not only valuable if it is painful, good experiences also lead to increased understanding.

To illustrate – a child on a swing. It sways back and forth in little arcs as the small legs and feet impel it. An older child advises “lean back – you’ll go higher. Go on, try it.” The child leans back and finds that the little arcs have become huge swoops. This is fantastic! This in itself is an experience - and a valuable one. Dare to try new things! Faulkner's lesson comes into play when disaster strikes. The child leans too far, or, in the joy of flight, lets go of the ropes. The fear of the fall, and the pain of the subsequent landing make a deep impression on the young mind – not to mention some deep impressions on the knees. From these twin experiences, the child has increased knowledge, and perhaps, increased wisdom. Daring to try something new can be fun, but forgetting to hold tight can be painful.

Another child might fear to take the advice to lean back and swing high. This child will not fall, but neither will it ever fly. Fear of pain has robbed this child of an enjoyable experience.

As we get older, our experiences become more subtle – and the lessons we can learn from them are not always obvious. But the man who dares to trust someone utterly, or the woman who gives up a safe job to pursue an entrepreneurial dream, they may meet with success or failure, but they will gain experience.

So, the principle that I would extract from Faulkner’s words above is that experiences should be welcomed, all experiences – except those that other experiences have taught you to avoid! And remember, you can benefit from the experiences of others – in fact you must. And to share your painful – and pleasant – experiences is to shed light on the dangerous pathway to assist those who would follow you. All writers, to a greater or lesser degree, shed this light; it is your gift to your fellow man, purchased with your time and trouble, and shared with all those who will listen to you.