why not envy me?

I am forever trudging along on foot
luxurious cars swish past
even new mountain bikes
on the special city paths
splash stagnant water
from the curb onto my faded jeans
they haven’t been designed by anyone
why is everyone else dry under umbrellas?
why not me?

wish window-shopping, jewelry district
gold watches, solitaire diamonds
platinum chains with ruby pendants
posh leather shoes costing a month’s rent
adorn the bag-laden customers going in and out
though I’m not a pauper, my Nikes are
four years old and scuffed,
only two pairs unlike the collectors
possessing a hundred rarely opened boxes
stacked in closets as large as
my tiny three-room apartment
why not me?

I pass Maxim’s the world famous restaurant
six months’ time for a reservation, evening gowns
for the ladies and tux for the men required
could I even afford to rent one?
they rejoice with apple pie dessert tallying
my weekly food budget, no splurges
why not me?

nearby, close to a chic nightclub
Starbucks’ couples sip cappuccino
while waiting for the limousine
to deliver them in comfort
to the airport, destination Casablanca
just a quick jet-set week-end
I’ll see the new Harry Potter film alone
in a crowded dark movie house
watching all of the couples in love
holding hands, laughing nonchalantly
why not me?

my feet hurt, walking everywhere
at midnight friends would say “take a taxi”
they always laugh when I suggest
borrowing their own taxi money
so I jog to the metro station
just miss the last train, cursing
the late night city dwellers
lucky to be going home quickly
why not me?



why not envy me?
[2007.21.8…a]