SAIDism

Winner of "Rising Stars Shining Brighter"  - September 2007

** HE SAID, SHE SAID, THEY SAID, WE SAID **
The bane of good dialogue

Saidism: The overuse of the word "said" as a dialogue tag.

Well, that's my definition of it, anyway.  "Said" is quite possibly the most abused four letter word in history. Wouldn't think it, would you?  Used primarily to identify who is speaking in dialogue, it's often flogged to within an inch of its miserable little life.

Having done some research on the subject, I've found several schools of thought.  The two most prominent seem to be those who believe the word "said" is "an invisible word" that's not generally noticed by anyone who isn't actively looking for it; and second, those who believe it should be replaced wherever possible with synonyms.  Member justme offers a list of suggested synonyms with "Instead of "Said"" , and there are a few websites offering lists of substitutes for the word "said".

Nowhere did I find the suggestion that dialogue tags can be left out entirely, if you write your dialogue as part of the action, rather than as an addendum to it.

My most memorable experience with being bludgeoned by the "saidism" malaise occurred while reading Michael Crichton's "Jurassic Park" some years ago.  The word "said" appears so many times in that novel, it drove me to distraction.  One can only assume Mr. Crichton believed his readers to be incapable of grasping who's speaking without that nasty dialogue tag.

Below is an example of some exasperating saidisms:

"So, did you invite Stella to the dance?" John asked.
"Nope," said Pete.
"Why not?" John asked.
"I don't have her number," said Pete.
"She's in the phone book, you know," said John.
"No, she's not. She's only been in town for two weeks," said Pete.

After the first two tags, which identify John and Pete as the speakers, the other tags are redundant.  The content of their dialogue, and the back-and-forth manner in which they're speaking, is more than sufficient to clarify who says what, especially in such a brief exchange.  If this dialogue were to continue, you might need to drop in a clarification here and there so the reader doesn't get lost, but there are more interesting ways of doing this than using "said."  I've been told most editors prefer that you use "said" rather than a synonym, because no matter how fancy the substitute, it's still a poor man's "said'.  "Said", or nothing!  For me, "nothing" is preferable.

Following is the same dialogue using synonyms:

"So, did you invite Stella to the dance?" John questioned.
"Nope," replied Pete.
"Why not?" John demanded.
"I don't have her number," exclaimed Pete.
"She's in the phone book, you know," retorted John.
"No, she's not. She's only been in town for two weeks," Pete interjected.

This just makes the writer look like a prat.  The only time substitutes work well is when they convey something, such as sighed, whispered, sobbed, and the like, though these should be used sparingly to avoid melodrama.  However, even these can be done away with for the most part.  For example:

John eyed Pete with mild amusement as he poured two cups of coffee.  "So, why didn't you just ask for her number last night?"

Pete picked up his screwdriver.  He wanted to drop the subject, but John was like a pitbull with a squeaky toy at times like this.  "Didn't think of it."

"Oh, come on, man!  You were with the girl for, what, four hours? And it never once occurred to you to say, 'Hey, I'd like to see you again. What's your number?'"

Avoiding John's eyes, Pete spooned sugar into his coffee and stirred it with the screwdriver.  "I'm just not that direct."

"You know, you're gutless."

Squeak.  "Why are you so worried about my social life?  What's it to you?"

John's lips peeled back in a wicked, leering grin.  "Have you seen Stella's sister?"

Not the best dialogue on the planet, but you get the idea.  Did you have any trouble following who was speaking in the above example?  "Said" wasn't used once.  Neither was "replied", "sighed", "exclaimed", "postulated" or any other synonym.  Granted, you can't avoid "said" and its substitutes entirely, but most of the time you can find much more interesting ways to present your dialogue, if you put your mind to it.

Not only does the above example avoid dialogue tags, it tells you something about each of the speakers.  By weaving dialogue with action, you can add depth to your characters and meaning to their interactions.  It doesn't have to be charge-of-the-Light-Brigade action, just subtle character actions and movements.  For instance:

Brenda puckered her bottom lip and puffed her hair out of her eyes. "Did you see where I left my marker pen set?"

Jen pointed at the magazine stack.  "Is that it, over there?"

"I really need to clean up around here."  Brenda retrieved the pen set and flopped onto the couch.  "Want some coffee?"

"Thanks, I just had one."

"Well, you could have offered me one."  Annoyed, despite her playful tone, Brenda put on her pouty face.

Engrossed in her book, Jen shrugged a shoulder.  "You were busy."