Spoof Review :Movie Classic"Halloween"

Halloween, is a gripping story of a dysfunctional family torn by secrets and lies, and sometimes lye, if Michael Meyers has his way. The child has serious bonding issues resulting in the fatal stabbing of his sister, by him, on Halloween night.

Subsequently, the years pass by rapidly so we moviegoers don’t get bored when Michael has his puberty problems. Hark, lo and behold, another sister is present. Ohh, no! Somehow Mikey knows she’s out there. Neither secret adoption nor the restraints of a home for the criminally insane could prevent this brother, hell bent on being the only spoiled fruit of the loin, hanging from the family tree, from his mission.

Of course, sister is oblivious to her magnetic charm that draws Mikey back to the burgs, to introduce himself in the best way he knows how… by thrusting a long, ice cold, stainless steel blade through her heart. In the meantime, she manages to do some babysitting, pop some popcorn, and view a few Halloween horror flicks.

Her friends tease her for not enjoying the usual teens gone wild sex orgy at the house next door. Naturally, Mikey cannot resist practicing his stabbing craft on a few delinquent teenagers before he greets his sister, thereby making himself her “blood brother”...AHHH! BLOOD, BROTHER, BLOOD!

Following a murderous rampage inflicted on half-naked teens, and the former friends of his long lost sister, Mikey decides it is finally time to visit the dear innocent babysitting sister. Now, it gets a little dramatic as you can feel the breath of Michael on his little sister’s neck as she just walks within feet of him hiding and lurking in dark corners of the house.

Whilst the frightened sister keeps her charges safe from the grips of Mikey, the doctor from the loony bin tries to track the escaped killer and bring him back to justice. Fear not! He shall get there soon. Hold on to your body parts, please!

Meanwhile, as the children escape from the house, and the evil clutches of Mikey, leaving behind the poor babysitter--slash, sister of slasher, and Mikey running from floor to floor and closet to, well, closet.  Furthermore, somewhere in between, the sister breaks a leg and must drag herself around the house with Mikey lurking behind her. She settles for the bedroom closet, finds a coat hanger, and untwists it in such a way as to construct an eye-opening weapon.

Now, the chilling music begins playing in the background when Mikey flings open the closet door, ZAP, POW, OWIE, sweet and swift sister shoves the pointed sliver of steel into sly Mikey’s eye. She takes the opportunity to run … I mean hop away, and just as Mikey is about to lunge at her, (Remember, he has a boogeyman type of constitution so he can do that.) he is shot, bang, bang, and another bang, for good measure…BANG, BANG, BANG!

Swaying on the bedroom balcony under the pressure of, well, bang, he does the classic boogeyman fall to the ground. Yes, that’s right, the doctor has arrived just at the precise moment necessary to shoot Mikey off the balcony and run to the aid of the poor sister. Sister cries copious tears and awaits the ambulance to take her to the emergency ward, so they can patch up the broken leg.

Doctor looks over the balcony where Mikey fell, and guess what? He’s gone, vanished! That is it. C’est la vie! That’s all she wrote folks. Except that coincidently, Halloween II takes place at the same hospital the poor little sister is recovering from that broken leg.

However, that’s another story.  


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