The Mind Game Olympics...

Sometimes, here or elsewhere, you wake up and discover you've unwittingly fallen prey to "Ping Pong Ball Syndrome" ~ weightless and insignificant, swept up in a tornadic maelstrom of anger/resentment/obfuscated agendas/jealousy/manipulation/vengeance/pain/etcetera, spun around at a dizzying pace, and slammed repeatedly against the unforgiving walls of some insane lotto machine. Even as you sense being vacuumed ever nearer to some gaping, black-holed abyss of finality, you're painfully aware of each daunting blow from airborne debris also swirling in the shrieking vortex. The projectiles, you at some point realize, are the contents of baggage ripped from the white-knuckled clutches of fellow human beings... and now zeroing in on others who've made the mistake of too closely approaching their mistrusting owners.

We all carry baggage of some sort or another; a carefully stowed collection of momentos bearing witness to wrongs done to us and keen disappointments and/or rejections we've endured... as well as all of the pain, anger, bitterness, hopelessness, helplessness, and dysfunction they spawn. Each evidences obvious signs of wear, attesting to the innumerable times they've been retrieved, closely examined, vigorously railed against, and obsessively contemplated ~ only to be ultimately re-folded with care and once more tucked away in dark, airless confines that so well sustain them. Were they to be left out in the sunshine and rain that naturally occur in life ~ neglected, abandoned, and sentenced to fend for themselves ~ they would moulder and disappear, as all dead things are meant to do. Preserved and granted our permission to feed upon our self-esteem, however, they live on indefinitely, rendering us ever more toxic, spiritually anemic, and wholly quagmired in the symbiotic process. Additionally, they are portenders of a destructive cycle, spawning and multiplying exponentially until our baggage becomes too cumbersome to be carried ~ or even shouldered ~ anymore. It now must be dragged along behind us, impeding every single step forward we endeavor to take.

As earlier stated, every human being encounters and must bear the burden of a certain amount of baggage in this world; that is simply an inescapable fact of life. Frequently, though ~ and sadly, all too often to their considerable detriment ~ onlookers confuse the concepts of ' courage ' and ' inner strength ' with what is in actuality a loved one's or friend's malignant need to remain safely cocooned in the security blanket of their own despair.

After all, by keeping past wounds picked open and suppurating, we do glean copious amounts of attention, acquire free passes for even our most inappropriate, otherwise inexcusable misconduct, tantrums, rants, narcisisstic mindsets, and resulting neglect and/or abuse of others ~ all the while reaping an abundance of extended sympathy, support, and encouragement. In such instances, ' victims ' are not being courageous... and we are not being at all helpful to them. The bottom line proves to be that they are addicted to victimization and we are their enablers. Interestingly enough, enablers may find themselves addicted... to the process and dynamics inherent to enabling.

Sometimes, if you honestly love and/or care about someone, the best and only truly loving thing you can do for them is to completely cease facilitating their addiction, accepting that their ensuing downward spiral and ultimate crash and burn is the sole means by which they will at last truthfully confront their circumstances and reclaim, then take full control of, their own lives and futures. As with any substance of abuse, escaping the work that has to be done daily in life by retreating into the seductive embrace of perpetual victimization dooms human beings to a defeating state of paralytic oblivion... and represents an utter waste of precious time that can never be replaced. If anything, this particular type of addiction is even stealthier and in many ways more devastating for sufferers, their friends, their families ~ and most of all, their children. Unchecked, it becomes a crippling generational legacy... the children of sufferers grow up to become equally debilitated parents, and the cycle goes on and on.

There is only one way to emancipate ourselves from our demons, regain our footholds, and know genuine pleasure and satisfaction in life, be we addicted victims or enablers. We must first decide that we want to live happily and meaningfully... and then get real, get rid of our destructive yet zealously maintained baggage, and get down to the business of living in the "now" and for the future rather than continuing to wallow in the past. Once we become adults, we are the captains of our own ships... unless, especially if out of fear of failure and/or and accepting personal responsibility, we permit others to wrest away our rightful position at the helm. Past storms cannot be permitted to sabotage the voyage before us. Nor can we allow the ships others are hell-bent upon sinking take our own down, as well.

And chosing to sink our own ship ~ by any overt or covert means ~ is the coward's way out... a capitally punishing. wholly undeserved slap in the face of God and those who love and care for us ~ and the most monumental of betrayals of one's own soul.