Vampire Dreams

Vampire Dreams

Halloween is nearly here —
'tis Vincent's favorite time of year.
For on this night of wandering ghouls,
he can blend with costumed fools
and traipse with them through leaves and mud,
then choose his prey and suck their blood.

Now as the dusk gave way to night,
Vince awoke in a state of fright.
His coffin seemed so awfully snug,
his bloodshot eyes like puffy slugs.
He looked as bloated as roadkill.
In fact, this vampire felt quite ill.

Vince waddled down a dead end street
as crackling leaves swirled round his feet.
That's where he found to his surprise,
a doc, no less, to victimize.
This doctor who would be his prey
told Vincent, "You must change your ways!"

"You're over weight," the doctor sighed.
"Your blood pressure is way too high.
I've seen this sort of thing before,
this sucking blood can be no more.
Cholesterol is bad for you
and Atkin's diet will not do.
On cabbage soup, now you must feed.
Take this pamphlet — be sure to read."

Under the full moon, fangs were bared
as Vincent stood with gaping stare.
The doctor left him quite perplexed.
Can vampires keep from biting necks?
He looked down at his obese shape
that bulged beneath his too-small cape.

The doc's prescription, he now skimmed,
this wonder soup to make him slim:
Cabbage and garlic, quite a lot,
holy water in a silver pot.
Stir together with wooden stake,
in bright sunlight, you must partake.

Now Vince was feeling mighty weak,
and pierced the darkness with his shriek.
He then awoke in a state of fright.
Oh, how these cursed bad dreams bite!
He must remember to not ingest
that type A blood before he rests.

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