As I Grow Older

As I get older I need...discipline.

And as I sit at my desk, I wonder.

My father has amazing self control. He can easily make himself do what needs to be done even though he doesn't want to, and he dodges his old procrastination habit like a pro. I'm not so lucky, however. I have near to no control. It gets me into trouble often, with parents, teachers, and even my friends.

I put off things. Not trivial stuff like cleaning my room or replying to e-mail. But things like calling a friend who's relative has died and telling a family member that an animal they owned once has passed on. As I'm getting older I'm beginning to see this can cause major problems in my adult life, it needs to be addressed immediately.

Even now, a month later I have still not called my old friend, I still haven't told my aunt that our dog, Sheba has died. This is far worse than a cluttered in-box, which I'm known to have.

If I don't practice self discipline I'll lose the trust of my family and my friends. I need to take that one step toward my goal, that one step to precede all of the others. But what is it? What's the step?

I eye the phone warily.

Maybe...maybe there is no real 'step'. Maybe it's not a process, but simply an action. So to follow the road of self discipline I have to:

Just do it.

With a small smile and a slightly lighter heart, I reach for the phone and dial the number of an old companion.