Every Tear

I sit here all alone.
          Without you.
                Without him.

I cry.
    Tear after tear.
      For you or for him?
          Dripping off my chin.
                  Onto this paper while I write.

Unknowingly
      Confused.
            Fearless.
My heart tugs for you
                My mind pulls for him.
                        Who will I choose?

I loose myself in every tear.
        Every moment I wait
                      I feel broken.
                                Tattered.
                                        Torn.

Why do I care?
          For you and him?

I struggle to try.
      In front of you and him.

Behind closed doors
          I sit here.
                All alone.
                        Without you.
                                  Without him.
                      Loosing myself within each and every tear.
                                      Continuously asking myself.
                                                Do I want you or him?