Fools Gold Doesn't Make You Rich

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I'll never forget the day I learned our family wasn't rich in the eyes of the world. Not only was I shocked, I was speechless. I can remember the lump that formed in the base of my throat, and the humility I felt. When my boyfriend at the time said "Your family doesn't have much money do they?" I remember asking him, "Why do you say that?" He shrugged as he looked around our living room and said "All you have to do is look around, anyone can see it."

I guess compared to his family home, our home didn't quite match up in his eyes. We lived in a humble 3 bedroom, one bath home. His family lived in a mansion compared to mine. I toured through their home admiring the 6 large bedrooms, the 4 bathrooms and thinking how wonderful to so much room. The indoor pool and the billiard room. I loved the apartment over the garage and the large work shop that his father had behind the house. It just never occurred to me he thought money made his family better than mine.

So when he compared me to his family, I felt so quiet. I was speechless really. I just wasn't raised to be that way. I never judged people by what they had or didn't have. I was taught that it didn't matter. Mother always said that people weren't defined by what they had. They were defined by who they were. I guess I always believed her.

I wasn't used to people being so blatant, so rude. To say he hurt my feelings is an understatement. Before that defining moment, I thought people were just people. No one in my life had ever judged me so harshly. I felt diminished in his eyes. He was quickly becoming diminished in mine.

Now because I'm a little older and can look back on the situation. I guess I can visualize when he looked at our handmade coffee table, created with care by my Uncle Phillip. He didn't see what I saw. All he noticed was the lack of a designer label. The drapes were made lovingly by my grandmother. She was a master at sewing and her work was quite in demand. But all he could see was they were homemade and not store bought. His words somehow made everything look cheap that day, when they never had before.

For the first time as I stood in my livingroom I began to see our home as others may see it. Our home was clean and neat. Pictures of our family adorned the walls, not fancy art work. Photo albums sat on the bookshelves next to mostly second hand books. There was no piano, no den, no extra bathroom. Considering my great grandparents in Texas hadn't had indoor plumbing into well into their 80's I hadn't given much thought to having one bathroom. We just learned to wait in line.

As hard as I tried, I couldn't see our home any differently than I had before his rude comments. This was just my home. It never occurred to me that others may have more material things than we did. Our life just was what it was. We were taught to be happy in all circumstances, to be appreciative. There were still plenty of other families that didn't have as much as we did.

My sister and I often talk about the "old days" growing up. We have long come to the conclusion we'd have rather posessed all of the love we knew, than all the money in the world. We never felt we lacked for anything. My mother always scraped together the money to buy whatever we needed or wanted. It may not have always been new, but it never seemed to matter to us. We just weren't avaricious.

His family owned a prominent garage door company in the valley, the largest one around. He inherited it from his father so he never knew the hardship of having to grow a business from the ground up. They also owned a large picture framing shop and a trucking company and so much property I couldn't inventory it all.

All of his brothers and sisters were given brand new cars the day they turned sixteen. I went to work at that age to earn the money to buy my own second hand car. I thought I was the luckiest girl alive when my grandfather decided one day he would take me car shopping. We picked out the car, and I thought he was going to help me arrange financing. Instead with a twinkle in his eye, he paid for the car in cash and let me pay him back in tiny little monthly payments. That day, I felt like I had it all.

I believe our family appreciated everything they received much more than my ex-boyfriend's. You see, we learned to work for what we owned. We took great care of everything given to us and the things we bought for ourselves. I don't believe this was a lesson Danny and his family would ever learn. I began to feel sorry for him. I began to feel sorry for all of them.

Danny's father liked to go around as dirty as could be from working out in the fields behind their home. He wore huge diamond rings encrusted with dirt. He was always on the lookout for someone to give him a discount or something for free. He always said people took advantage of the rich, so he would pretend to be poor. I can remember how sorry I felt for their family. They all had to pretend to be something they weren't.

Eventually I realized that I was the rich one. I had family and friends that loved me. People that would walk through fire to take care of me. A mother that would sacrifice everything she had to give birth to me. In truth I held it all. I was given the greatest gifts one can ever hope to possess.

Our family was lavished with respect, kindness, love, loyalty, sacrifice and patience. My family bore these gifts in abundance, and they weren't afraid to share everything we possessed with others. We didn't have to fear anyone trying to take advantage of our generous natures, because we gave away what we owned freely to all. We never worried about what other people held or didn't hold as long as we always sustained each other.

I'll never forget the day I realized how very rich I was and how very poor he'd become. This was the day I realized I couldn't live my life fearing others always wanted to steal from me what I owned. If being rich meant I always needed to be on the lookout, well then I was content to be happy instead. One lesson in life I've learned and will pass on to my children is "There are some things in life more precious than gold. Dating a fool isn't one of them!"


ReikiScreamer