Light Survives Trilogy

Part 1 of the Light Survives Trilogy

Choosing Light

Accusing, the eyes
Glaring my way
Dark, the thoughts
Pulling me away

From my child's
Light.  The fire,
Boiling the poison
Holding my Soul

Without ransom. Only
The eyes of my daughter
Pulling me back
To hold her

Light.  Bright sun
Through the window
Blinds me.
I wake to see

My baby's eyes
Questioning, I see
My mother in her
Doubting me.

She cannot understand
My desire for meth,
My love for Dark
Crystal Death

My fear of failing
Life, Inviting doom
Failing birth, her birth
From my poisoned womb.

My choice, made.
Darkness takes a mother
My child thrives,
In the arms of another

Losing you,
I yearn to recover.
Will my light survive
To become a mother?

************************************
Part 2:  Light Survives Trilogy

Mixed Blessings

This child, mine
Not mine
Another's child
Irresponsible one
Excuses given
Reasons why
No excuse is enough

But without
Irresponsibility
Excuses
Mistakes
This child, Her child
Would never become
Mine

I pray for her
And for me
This child should be
With her mother
God only knows
Which mother
It will be

So I wait
And love and hold
And wish and hope
A mother succeeds
No, A mother fails
A child succeeds
And finds a mother

Me

**********************************
Part 3: Light Survives Trilogy

Second Chances

She stares in the mirror
Who is this person I see;
addict, mother, woman,
a survivor of the beast?

Such a price she's had to pay
For hitting the bottom of the well;
a year of memories lost,
but the end of a life of hell.

She lies on her bed,
eyes trained toward the daughter
for whom she gave birth and lost,
missing a year of her life, a lifetime to her.

Sleeping soundly, her child is not aware
of the battles fought by her mother
Dreams of parenthood dashed,
In her drive to choose another.

The child knows only the care
Of foster family, and mother
Who have both loved and lost her
And learned to trust each other.

Mixed blessings by one mother
Fearing failure;doubting success,
Appreciation and resentment
By the other, now put to rest.

Light prevails over darkness
As she promises for the day
To choose survival and healing,
And keep addiction at bay.

Trusting eyes reappear as she scoops up her child,
Impervious to judgmental glances,
They waltz among strangers to the glorious sound
Of recovery and second chances.