I Am Gamer, Hear Me Roll!

“I am Gamer, Hear Me Roll!”
10/18/2007

I am a gamer.
A bonifide, genuine, dice-chucking, dwarf-playing, dungeon-mastering, nerd of the d20 variety.
It’s not something played just by the socially inept, vaguely creepy, and pimply kids in the Math club.
Regardless of what “Monsters and Mazes” told you, your stereotype does not fit!
I am not socially awkward, a virgin, or afraid of girls.
I do not live in my mother’s basement, own a pocket protector, or practice Satanism.
I do bath regularly, listen to things other than death metal, and do not have an arsenal of cardboard weaponry.
However, I do love Mountain Dew, hit on girls in the local tavern, and own a +8 Knife of Ogre Slaying.

Gaming is not just a hobby, it’s a lifestyle.
I relish every conscious moment I spend gaming.
I love the look on a player’s face when his favorite character’s head just exploded from a critical roll by a Morningstar wielding goblin by the name of Chuba.
Nothing gets my blood going like the aftermath of a fireball spell inserted into the rectum of a white dragon.
As long as the dice roll in my favor, there is nothing to fear but a botch itself.
I will roll dice until my fingers fall off, my books crumble into dust, and my friends have long since passed into the Fugue Plane.

For I am Gamer, Hear Me Roll!