A Conversation In Insanity

“I woke up this morning with a bee sitting on my nose, looking into my eyes.”

”Strange. Any idea why?”

“It said if I ate it I would fly away to another world.”

“Oh come on, Agalia! Surely the bee didn’t speak to you.”

“Why Ariston, you don’t believe me? How rude!”

“Now dear, it does sound a little dubious to even the most imaginative of persons. You must admit this.”

“I admit nothing of the sort. If I say a bee spoke to me, then a bee did speak to me and I think it is rather awful of you to suggest otherwise.”

“Agalia, darling, I believe you. Please continue.”

“Well, that’s more like it. As I was saying, the bee propositioned me—”

“Was it a honey bee or a bee of a different sort?”

“Why, I suppose it must have been a honey bee, for it tasted rather sweet indeed.”

“Tasted? You don’t mean to tell me you actually ate the wretched thing do you?”

“Well it was a rather curious offer, wouldn’t you agree? The pleasant dream I had just awoken from did inspire my decision, though, yet I can’t say I regret it.”

“Pleasant dream? What dream would that be?”

“Why, the one in which a dragonfly landed on my nose.”

”A dragonfly you say?”

“Yes, dear, the loveliest dragonfly. It too propositioned me.”

“You really should be an artiste, Agalia. What with your imagination and all.”

“Oh Ariston, dear, how atavistic you grow. Never you mind, I shall stop my narrative at once!”

“Agalia, Agalia, my love. Please pay me no mind; it is late and I have slaved all day simply to produce for you your every wish and desire, for it is my ultimate goal to please you. Do continue, for to hear your silence is to wish for death.”

“Ariston, how you please me with words! I shall continue, then:

“The dragonfly, ever so radiant with purple and blue hues offset by a splash of orange and yellow, spoke to me in a lovely voice. ‘Agalia,’ it said, ‘if you should so much as blow on me, we shall soar together on the wind you create and reach a vast and wonderful world full of delights.’

”And so what was I to do but comply with this lovely creature at once? I blew lightly on the dragonfly’s iridescent wings and within moments I felt myself carried along as one might feel while riding a particularly strong sail. Verily we reached a vast and wonderful world full of wondrous delights.”

”What sorts of delights were in this vast and wonderful world, dear Agalia?”

”Why, objects of pure unimaginable beauty of course, silly! What else would bother to inhabit such a vast and wonderful world? Of course, there was one rather annoying inhabitant whom I didn’t much care for.”

”Intriguing. Who – or what – was this bothersome creature?”

”I believe it must have been part mosquito and part fly, for it had the desire to sit and sting yet did not have the attention span required to do either of those tasks.”

”And what became of this mosquifly – or flyquito – I dare inquire?”

”The dragonfly quite promptly ate it right up, as if it were naught more than a tidbit. It seemed rather satisfied with its impromptu meal. For a while, at least.”

”For a while? Did the flymos give it pains?”

”Oh yes, quite. The dragonfly eventually lost all of its central colors and swelled rapidly until it was the size of a medium-sized balloon.”

”A balloon you say?”

”Just the size, dear Ariston. Presently the dragonfly, with a pained look in his eyes, exhaled mightily with a belch and I flew backwards and watched the vast and wonderful world disappear right before my eyes.”

”And it’s a good thing, for I would not be able to live without you in this world.”

”Very kind of you, yet I miss that world just the same, as would you if you had seen its....”

”...vast and wondrous qualities I presume?”

”Why, yes, dearest. After the world receded before my eyes I landed in our bed, quite perplexed, as one should be.”

”Quite, that.”

”That was when I discovered the bee on my nose, looking into my eyes with wonder and perhaps a bit of awe.”

”And this is where he asked you to eat him?”

”No, dear Ariston. He first gave me – us, rather – some absolutely stunning news! Would you like to hear?”

”Would I like to hear? Of course, Agalia my love.”

”The bee, after quite a fanfare of buzzing his wings, announced to the world and myself that I am the new Queen! Doesn’t this astound?”

”Hmm. Well, I suppose it does at that.”

”Why, Ariston. You don’t seem very excited at all. This is wondrous news Sir Bee, forever to be remembered, imparted! You should feel awed by its magnitude.”

”Yes, Agalia, I do feel quite...astounded. If you would please forgive me, I need to use the telephone right quick dear. You can finish your tale in a moment.”

”No worries, husband of mine. My story will wait for you.”

”I’ll only be a minute dearest.”

* * *

”Ah, well now that’s finished.”

”What’s finished Ariston? Whom did you call?”

”Never mind that now. Do finish your story if it pleases you.”

”All right, then. After the bee told his wonderful news he then told me I was to eat him and be transported to my kingdom, so I took no notice of second thoughts and gobbled the bee up in all his sweetness.

”Presently I was transported to a veritable utopia of a world, known for its vast and wondrous qualities. Before me was a castle of the most wondrous architecture. The vastness of its proportions was not lost on my eye either.

”Into the courtyard I fell, dressed now in the most splendid of dresses. I landed seat first in my throne, with one empty throne sitting beside mine. Kneeling before me were beasts of the field and insects of the flowers and presently a large bumblebee flew up and landed on my nose, much as the first had, before I made it my breakfast of course.

’Your Highness,’ said the bumblebee, ‘Welcome to the land of Amentia, we are here to serve you as your loyal subjects.’

“’Arise, subjects,’ said I in a tone that dripped of regality. ‘You cannot serve me as of yet, for I am not willing to be served.’ And with that a general uproar commenced until one nervous fox came forward.

”’Your Majesty,’ the fox began, ‘may I inquire into the nature of your displeasure?’

”’Why Sir Fox,’ said I. ‘Sir Fox, I am not displeased with any doings of this world. I am, rather, displeased with something that is missing from my world.”

”Agalia, sweetheart, I must answer the door. I will return shortly.”

”Very well, dear. As I was saying, ‘I am, rather, displeased with something that is missing from my world.’

”’And what is that, Your Loveliness?’ asked the fox.

”’I do so miss my husband,’ said I, ‘even though he has been acting very odd as of late.’

”’That is because your husband doesn’t understand, Your Regalness,’ stated the fox. ‘You really should dispose of the man. We have a vast array of replacements that are of wondrous qualities.’

”’Hmm,’ said I, deep in thought. ‘This is an action I will have to consider in depth, although it does seem....’”

”You see, she’s always like this. Please, not too loud. I don’t wish to disrupt her; maybe it will be quicker this way....”

”Ariston, how lovely to see you! So, to continue, I simply had to come back to fetch you to be my King. Why, hello there! Are you my Royal Jester? Oh, do say you are! I could very well go for a laugh about now. Stand on your head, Jester! Do it now or I will banish you!”

”No, no dear, he is your Royal Chauffeur. He will be taking you to a new palace for a time. A vast palace with many wondrous sights to behold.”

”Oh joy! Yes, let us leave at once. I do love vast palaces with wondrous sights!”

”Thank you!”