Diet tips from Dmack

1. Here's a great tip for chocolate lovers. Take a chocolate bar, the kind scored into squares. Before you unwrap it, hold it up and tap the bottom end three times on the table. All the calories will fall into the bottom two squares. Unwrap it and give those squares to your skinny friends, and then enjoy your now calorie-free chocolate. By the way, this works on any size bar.
I swear it's true.

2. Everyone knows this one. Eat only the broken cookies; they have no calories. Remember though, they must be broken by accident; breaking them on purpose doubles the calories.

3. Ice cream eaten directly for the container and food eaten while standing in front of the open refrigerator have fewer calories.

4. Calories in food eaten in the Mall are burnt off by shopping; the more you spend the thinner you'll be when you get home.

5. Wear very large shoulder pads. They'll make your waist look smaller.

6. Surround yourself with people who are bigger than you.

7. Lose weight quickly---get a really short hair cut.

8. When eating out, eat only half and take the rest home. You can eat the rest safely at home. Everyone knows that styrofoam containers absorb calories.

9. The Molten Chocolate Cake at Chilli's can be eaten without ruining your diet, if you share it with 12 friends.

10. If you love cake, eat only birthday cakes. They have no calories and it's fun to blow out the candles.

11. Never eat alone. Teach your pets to beg at the table, then you will eat less because you have to share with them.

12. Beware of fruitcake, use only as a doorstop.

13. Most important to a balanced diet, every day eat from the four basic food groups.Which are of course: 1. Milk chocolate, 2. Dark chocolate, 3. White chocolate & 4. Chocolate truffles.

14. Become a nudist, clothing adds way too much weight.

15. At a dinner party, get up between courses and walk, counter-clockwise, around the table three times to burn the calories from the previous course.

16. One handful of candy corn counts as a serving of vegetables.

17. Allow Trick-or-Treaters to use both hands to take candy from the bowl. This way there will be no hollween candy left to tempt you.

18. Eat only hollow chocolate Easter eggs and bunnies.