My Realization

Of all the times I can recall…
All the moments we have shared.
I am not sure if you always knew
Just how much I cared.
Through all the times that we have laughed;
Fond memories were made.
As well as a love and a friendship;
And a bond that will never fade.
We would sit up and share secrets
Long into the night.
Trusted each other with all our feelings;
Those chipper and those contrite.
We would share the mornings.
Before going our separate ways.
Oh, it seems we were inseparable,
Way back in those days.
But things weren’t always perfect.
We’ve had many-a conflict.
Not nearly as many as we had
When you hung out with that addict.
We seemed to be growing farther apart….
And I began to miss you so….
How many ways I tried to get you see
I no longer know.
I wanted to keep you safe.
It seemed like my job to do.
I wanted to give you so much
But I couldn’t protect you from you.
I felt like I failed you for so long.
Then I began to feel livid.
How could I let this happen?
How could you be so stupid?
Now as “I remember everything”
(The words in one of our songs)
I guess I finally realized something,
I should have known all along.
You have to learn on your own.
And make your own mistakes
And I have to let you make them
No matter how much your heart aches.
You don’t know how much it hurts
To see that you’re not okay.
It puts a hole in my heart and
A rip in my soul even on this day.
I was scared I would lose you;
The thought still brings me to tears.
But I should have known I never will
After all these years.
I will always care for you.
In me you can always confide.
We will always have each other…
Even after we both have died.