It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time

PROMPT:  Write a short story or poem in which you bribe the Writer's Cramp Judges to win the contest round.  Tell how you went about bribing them and the final outcome.


I can’t believe I even tried it!  It was so out of character and so unethical; and just look at the trouble I have caused for myself!  Not only have I lost self-confidence and dignity, but I have been blacklisted at the web site I loved most! 

Let me start at the beginning.

The Writer’s Cramp:  I know it’s just a contest, and the prize is 1000 points for a story or poem written within 24 hours of the prompt given for the day, but all I have ever wanted to do was write something good, and if I could win this contest, maybe I could win something bigger and better.  I needed this boost of confidence so badly but I bungled it so horribly I can’t even bear to look in the mirror.  I am so ashamed.

I read the prompt at noon and wrote a pretty good story.  I checked it over and found no spelling errors, grammatical problems, etc.  I had a good plot, exciting dialogue, and characters with depth that readers could relate to.  I followed all the rules and stayed within the guidelines and entered it in { bitem } format.  Mine was the first entry for the prompt and I thought I had a real chance this time.

I should have just left it alone but I kept returning to see if anyone else had entered.  I started to worry that perhaps the other entries would come close to the deadline and I wouldn’t have time to read them all and make changes to mine if I needed to.  As I sat and worried about winning my fingers were typing and before I realized I clicked “Send” and an email whooshed off to the judges:

“Dear Writer’s Cramp Judges:

I’m sure you give due and ample consideration to each and every entry you receive and will make the best and fairest decisions possible to the best of your abilities.  I just want you all to know how important this contest is to me.  You see, I’ve never wanted to do anything else in my life but write.  Circumstances and the need to eat and have a roof over my head have gotten in the way of my pursuing a writing career.  Your contest could give me the boost of confidence and motivation that I so desperately need to begin looking into my writing as a viable career opportunity, not just a pastime.  If I were able to get a writing job, I could stay home with my children and be a better wife and mother.  I would be able to spend quality time molding my children into better citizens and more reliable and responsible members of the community.  I could devote time to community outreach projects, volunteer to clean a section of the highway putting your names on the sign, and even spend time tutoring others.  In fact, I could start my own non-profit literacy program and help others in my community learn to read and write so that there would be more people to read the works of great authors such as yourselves.  Winning this contest would not only change my life, but the lives of my children and the lives of countless others that I could help.

It isn’t much, but if you choose me as your winner, I will donate all of my points in addition to doing all the things mentioned above.  At 1000 points per round, these points would enable you to sponsor at least 250 more rounds without costing any of you a single gift point of your own!

Dear Judges, please consider my sincere plea.  So many people would be helped if you choose my story, and you wouldn’t even have to send me the 1000 point prize  because I would just donate it right back to you.  That is how much winning this contest means to me.

Thank you for your kind consideration.  So great is my confidence that you will make the right and virtuous decision that I have emailed my boss my letter of resignation and begun cleaning out my desk.

I look forward to hearing from you at noon tomorrow and being announced as the proud winner of this round at the Writer’s Cramp forum.

With warmest regards and sincerity,
Deborah”

Well, like I said, before I knew it the email was sent.  At noon today I looked at my email at Writing.com.  There were several messages but the one I clicked on first was the one entitled “Congratulations!  You have won!”  It read:

“Dear justme:

The Writer’s Cramp has chosen you as today’s winner!”

My heart swelled with pride as my mind raced madly in the glory of my success, but the thumping within my chest became the wild raging of panic as I scrolled down the page and read:

“However, we regret to inform you that your unethical and reprehensible conduct have forced us to lock your account. It will be deleted within 24 hours.  We apologize for any inconvenience, but allowing such unacceptable behavior to continue and be rewarded would diminish and tarnish the fine reputation of Writing.com and all of its members.  It is our sincere hope that you have copies of your work as they will be permanently deleted from our database shortly.  Best wishes in your future writing endeavors.

The Story Master
The Story Mistress
The Staff of Writing.com

The Writing Cramp Judges”

What in the world was I thinking?  What will happen to me now?  How could I have been so stupid?  How can they do this to me?

I know, before they delete my account, I'll write the Story Master and Story Mistress and offer my deepest and most sincere apologies….temporary insanity!  That’s it!  I will plead temporary insanity! 

No, I’ll tell the truth.  Greed for glory stood in the way of good judgment and I deserve this censure, but I will throw myself upon their mercies and beg for forgiveness.  How should I begin?

1000 words