Mr. Blinky, My Absent - Minded Boss

  I might have lost the boss lottery, but I sure as hell will have plenty of stories to write about him; I will call him Mr. Blinky; the most disorganized human being I have ever seen.
 
    True story - him and I were going to this meeting in Santa Barbara with a director of a hospital business office. It was a very important meeting for our company- to help it grow.

Well Mr. Blinky and I head up there to our hotel rooms the night before...and this is where the proverbial writing on the wall was becoming more and more evident.
 
First sign: we get to our hotel and the credit card he booked them on was declined! Apparently he doesn't keep up with the balances. Finally, after about the fourth card he pulled out of his dilapidated wallet they were able to book our rooms. My shame is now stuck on my face like a fresh sunburn.I grab my luggage and Mr. Blinky and I precede on our little sojourn to our hotel rooms.
 
Well as soon as I am about to enter my room, Mr. Blinky asked me if I brought an extra pair of dress socks. It seems that he has flown from Nashville Tennessee to Santa Barbara California without any dress socks at all. Okay, that's a little weird but I acquiesced, I precede to open my luggage to the part where I have my dress socks stowed(luckily I always care extras of everything). I, with a look of bewilderment on my face, hand him a pair and he thanks me for being so over prepared.

"okay, have a good night's sleep." he says

"See you at 6 a.m. sharp. We will meet at the breakfast bar." he states to me as he is shutting his door. So off I go into la-la land-deep sleep-preparing for meetings tomorrow. 
 
Well 6 a.m. sharp arrives, I am down stairs with newspaper and empty stomach. I sit down with my food, ready to eat. I wonder where Mr.Blinky is at? Huh

6:30...no signs of Mr. Blinky....no big deal...I will just eat some more.

7:00...still no sign of Mr. Blinky...could he have taken my socks and ran?

7:30...okay...I am getting worried...why would he take my socks and run?

7:45...I have read the USA Today...even the Life section...what the hell am I going to read now...wait a minute...I see someone coming???

Oh nevermind...it's not him..

Out of the corner of my eye I see this disheveled, indigent looking man coming towards my table...don't look at him...maybe he will keep walking...what the hell...why do they let vagrants in this hotel...I'm never coming here again...oh my God...he's still coming towards me...look away...look down at the paper...pretend you don't see him...Oh my God...he's coming right to me....

"Sooo sorry I'm late Jaaaayson"

OH NO, it's Mr. Blinky!!!

I look up at Mr. Blinky standing there with this enormous grin on his face. His hair is in a serious state of mussiness, better known as bed head. His "off-white" white dress shirt was so wrinkled I could almost pick out shapes in the wrinkles and his tie was crooked and coming untied. His black pants were in serious disrepair- with the buckle of his bet playing tug of war with the belt loop on the right.

"You ready to go?" He asked sheepishly. I was kind of hoping for an alien probing story or something; but no explanation.

"ummmm...sure...I guess."

What am I supposed to do? I am in a bit of a quandary here. We have to be there by 9am and we are still about a 45 minute drive away. But he looks like he hasn't slept in a week.

Well my fear of confrontation with my boss wins out. We head down the 101 freeway towards Santa Barbara. I am driving and he is talking. His breath is so bad, I can see his words; every word that comes out of his mouth is green and is slapping me in the side of the face. The windows are steaming up it's so bad!
I decide I am going to chew some gum, and of course offer him some. Because I am so friendly.Problem solved.


We get there with about ten minutes to spare, and hurry upstairs to meet with our "victim". I call her on the phone that is in the lobby so she can come greet us.
   

So get this picture, me in a well pressed suit. I am an intimidating looking guy too-about 230lbs and muscular with a bald head. I look like Stone Cold Steve Austin. Then beside me is Mr. Blinky, looking like he ran beside the car the whole way here.
 
Now the door opens and Mrs. Victim peeks her head through the opening...she looks at the two of us. Me standing there looking like a bouncer and Mr. Blinky with this Gary Busey smile, hair disheveled and looking like a serial killer. She stares at us for what seemed like ten minutes but was actually about two seconds, shuts the door and walks away.

We lost this client before we ever got a chance to lose her. Thanks Mr. Blinky