A very gross entry: Flash Fiction

At recess the kids arranged themselves in a line outside, and waited for their instructions.

“Now here are the rules,” said a fifth-grader named Chris, who was in charge. “Whoever spits the furthest gets everybody’s snacks for today. I’m gonna mark where your spit lands with this here chalk. You can only spit once and you have to use what you’ve already got in your mouth. Got it? Good!”

Randy went first, and was marked at about three feet. He was followed by Suzie, Jane and Kurtis, all of whom began to take more time to work up a good phlegm so as to spit further. In no time that part of the yard became a symphony of disgusting noises. But no kid could spit past three feet. Then it was Mitchell’s turn. He was the smallest, quietest boy in the class, and never won at anything. Naturally, it came as a great surprise when not only did he produce the biggest phlegm-wad but managed to send it three and a half feet!

“Wow, Mitchell! How’dja do that?” asked Chris, who was about to declare him the winner.

“I have excitable sinuses.” He replied, a little embarrassed.

“You mean you have stupid sinuses!” Everyone groaned, for arriving on scene was the class bully Sean. A late entrant, he pushed his way to the “spit spot” and hatooey! let fly what looked like a raw egg hurtling past Mitchell’s three-footer and...

...right into the eye of the untimely Mr. Farley.

Sean was never heard from again (well at least, according to school legend).

Mitchell looked deflated. Chris handed him his snack and said; “It never hit the ground.” All the other kids joined in, and for the first time Mitchell didn’t mind having excitable sinuses.

(words: 296)