He & She

What SHE tells her friends about the man she’s madly in love with:

* Name, age and Medicare number
* What he looks like
* How he dresses
* Word-for-word dialogue of every phone call
* Play-by-play of every encounter (sexual or otherwise)
* Vital stats and measurements (height, weight, hands, feet, inseam, genital, fat-to-lean muscle mass ratio)
* What he does for a living
* Where he went to school
* What kind of car he drives
* Where he lives
* How much money he’s got
* Who his best friend is
* What kind of watch he wears
* How/if he votes
* How he lost his virginity
* Ex-wives, girlfriends and debris
* Sexual style, technique, innuendo, and idiosyncrasies
* Astrological sign
* How he gets along with his parents
* Favourite foods
* Favourite sport
* Favourite movie
* Favourite mind-altering substances
* Favourite shirt
* Habits, addictions, tics and twitches
* Brand of aftershave
* Allergies


What HE tells his friends about the woman he’s madly in love with:

* She’s nice