Safe

“Would you like us to call you when the procedure is completed?”

“No, no. I’ll take your word for it. Just send me the bill. Thanks.” Tim’s eyes were starting to cloud up, and he just wanted to get out of the vet's office, though he felt guilty about leaving his old collie behind. But he needed to get his two children away from this unhappy place.

“All right. Have a good day.”

“Thanks, you too.” He curled up Sally’s leash and put it in the pocket of his parka, and took the children by the hand.

When they were out of the vet’s office, 8-year-old Jason asked, “Will we pick up Sally later, after Molly gets done at gymnastics?”

“No,” Tim choked. He struggled to control his emotions in front of the kids. “Sally won’t be coming home with us this time.”

“Why?”

“Sally's time has run out. She has cancer, just like Grandpa had. So it’s time for her to go to Heaven, just like Grandpa.”

While he got the children settled in the SUV, he tried to think of a better way to explain it. He didn’t want his kids to ever feel sad or unsafe. Once everyone was inside, protected from the cold winter air, he turned to his children and said, “God needed a new angel, a dog angel, and so he took Sally.”

Everyone was quiet on the ride to Molly’s Tiny Tumblers lesson. Jason softly kicked the back of the driver’s seat, but for once Tim didn’t say anything about it. He simply concentrated on plowing through the falling snow, keeping his eyes focused on the brown, slushy mess covering the road ahead. Fighting the weather helped lessen the feeling of cold grayness within.

_____________________________

Tim hurried the kids into the gym, glad to shut the door on the snow. He helped Molly remove her outer clothing, and soon she was dashing onto the floor in her sparkly pink leotard. The Tiny Tumblers had already begun their warm-ups.

When he and Jason were upstairs, he had to look around to find an empty seat. The upper floor was like a big, railed balcony overlooking the gym. As always, there were mothers everywhere, chatting as they watched their daughters work out. He exhaled with relief when he spied a seat open next to the only other dad in the place. He hurried over; being the only man in this flood of women always made him nervous.

The two dads exchanged greetings. Tim helped Jason take off his Spiderman backpack, which contained the snacks and coloring books that were supposed to keep him occupied for the next hour.

“So where’s Junie?” asked Jim, the other man.

“She’s got her book group this afternoon, so I’m stuck with chauffeur duty.”

“Ah, bad day for it. Still snowing out there?”

“Yeah. In a way I’m kind of glad it’s me driving the kids around today, if you know what I mean. The roads and the weather are just so dangerous. An accident waiting to happen.”

Jim chuckled. “Sure. I’m just sorry for the poor guys have to be out in it all day. You couldn’t pay me enough to drive a mail truck in Wisconsin. Matter of fact, I haven’t been outside all winter.”

“Me either. Not since I went hunting with my cousin up in Waukousas last November.” Tim didn’t know the other man all that well, but decided he had to talk to somebody. “I tell you, it’s about as gray out there as I feel. Had to put my old collie down today.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Uh-huh. She has cancer. Had cancer, I guess. It’s probably all over by now. Got her when she was a pup, back when I was a teenager. Right after my old dog died, as a matter of fact -- I tell you, that dog was something else. Got me out of many a scrape. I even gave the puppy a name that sounded the same, so I wouldn't miss the old gal.”

“Wow. Your vet bills must be huge.”

The two men were deep in conversation for a long while.

____________________________

Jason quickly grew bored with the old coloring books. He wandered to a place where the railing was clear and he could watch his sister’s class. Their jumping and cartwheels didn’t interest him long either. Dad said gymnastics was for girls; Jason was on a football team and took karate class instead. Still, he was impressed when the girls got on the long, springy Tumble Track, and Molly managed a flip. He turned proudly to the gray-haired woman on the seat next to him. “That was my sister.”

“Yeah? She’s pretty good for such a little kid. The one with the red ponytail is good too. She’s got a lot of speed.”

“Is she your daughter?”

“Oh, no.” The woman pointed a thumb toward the still rings and pommel horse. “My kids are in the boys’ class. I just like watching the girls.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know, they just look cool, like popcorn popping around down there. The older ones are even better. They look like fireworks." She made a soft exploding motion with her hands.

Jason looked over to the balance beam where she had pointed. He still didn’t see what the big deal was, so he changed the subject. “My dog had to go to the vet’s today because she got too sick, so the vet killed her. Her name is Sally.”

“Aw, that’s too bad. You must miss her.”

“I don’t miss her yet because she usually doesn’t come to gymnastics anyway. I won’t start to miss her until I go home.” He tried to imagine what it would be like to get home and not find Sally at the door, tongue out, barking hello. Now it sounded like she would be greeting God when he came home instead. “Daddy says Sally went to Heaven. I never knew there were dog angels before.”

“Hmm, neither did I.”

“I wonder if there are really dogs up there in the clouds.”

The lady smiled. “Well I don’t know. I’ve never been there. Maybe that’s where they go, or maybe they go somewhere else. What if there was a dog kingdom somewhere? Maybe after being good pets and guarding houses for people while they’re alive, they get to go be kings and queens and knights.”

Jason’s face brightened. “Yeah! My dog had teeth like swords.” He gnashed his teeth fiercely to demonstrate.

“Hey, Excalibur teeth!” the lady laughed.

“Yeah! And you know what? My dog was really, really smart. I bet she’s like Merlin.”

“Hmm, but she’s a girl dog, so I don’t know if she can be Merlin. How about Morgan le Fay, casting spells to help King Arf-thur battle the dread Black Wolf?”

Jason laughed at the idea.

_________________________

Tim had been so engrossed in his conversation, he hadn’t paid much attention to what Jason was doing. Hearing his son’s laugh, he looked over to see what the boy was up to. He was horrified to see that Jason had struck up a conversation with a stranger, some woman wearing enough black to dress a witch, with a picture of a glowing skull on her t-shirt. The only thing she was wearing that wasn’t black was a grimy pair of once-white snow boots.

“Jason! Stop bothering that lady. Come over here, now!” Jason and the woman looked his way, both a little startled. The woman’s jewelry jingled as she turned. He didn’t like the way she smiled at him; something, probably an excess of eyeliner, made her eyes look a little wild under her mess of gray hair. The hair was barely held back by a nonsensical array of braids and silver clips.

“Sorry about your dog,” she said.

“That’s okay. She was just about over the hill anyway.” He turned to Jason and gave him yet another lecture about talking to strangers. He was relieved that nothing had really happened; still, the boy had to get out of the habit of just walking up and saying anything to anyone.

“She said Sally might be going to be a dog magician in the Dog Kingdom when she dies,” Jason said. He sounded almost happy about it.

Great. Now he’d have to start explaining this thing all over again. “That isn’t really true, though, is it? It’s just make believe. You stay by dear old dad for the time being, okay sport?"

The woman put on a loud jacket and got up to leave. On her way out she handed Tim a business card. Wendy's World, it said, and she'd scrawled "10% Discount" on the bottom.

"I work at this place -- it's a petshop. If you decide you're ready for a new pet, stop by."

"Yeah, thanks. Bye."

Tim was glad this person didn't have a kid in Molly's class. He hated having to deal with oddballs like that, and he'd rather not even have to think about the weird ideas they might spread to his kids. He decided that when he had both children together, he needed to say something to them, something that would make them feel secure again. Losing a pet was, after all, bound to be a big deal for them, a first. Maybe he should get the kids new dog, so they wouldn't have to feel sad.

When Molly came upstairs, he took both kids to a quiet corner, and kneeled down to talk to them.

“Hey you guys, I have an idea. We still have Sally's blanket in the car, and all the old dog stuff back at the house. How about we go to the pet store on the way home and pick out a new puppy?”

Molly was all enthusiasm. “Yeah! We can get a white puppy and name it Angel!”

Jason looked a little more doubtful. “I guess I’d like to do that. I’m still not used to Sally being gone. I don't want to give her blanket away.”

Drat that woman for confusing the kid. Tim was sure his children craved certainty as much as he did. Out loud he said, “Look, do you know what I heard? I heard that all dogs go to Heaven. Did you know that?”

“No,” Jason replied slowly.

“And that means they’re safe.”

“Safe? But she's not safe if she's...”

“Safe.” There. Tim felt better.