Searching for me

Looking back into the shadows of my life,
Trying to stay sane when such madness is rife.
Desperately trying to make sense of it all,
Trying to stand when it’s easier to fall.

Was that me? That careless child?
So full of life, so happy, so wild.
What happened to her? Where did she go?
She was part of me, yet still I don’t know.

Her hopes were stolen, her spirit destroyed,
Nothing she did could fill the void.
She struggled to grow with this terrible curse,
Metamorphosis took place in reverse.

I’m a different person deep in my heart,
She remains whole, I’m torn apart.
Her laughter an echo, the smile of a ghost,
Those beaming eyes I miss the most.

My life is a puzzle but the pieces won't fit,
I’m searching for her with candles unlit.
I try to reach back, to take her hand,
But slowly she’s fading and I don’t understand.