Artistic Envy

A feeling of nothingness,
I feel like nobody at all.
Pain lingers within me
Like disease on a corpse.
The things I want,
I'll never have.
I can't be anything else.
I'll never be what I want,
I'll never have the abilities
I've wished for and dreamt about.
Inferior,
That is how I feel.
Like a speck of dust in the universe.
Inferior to everything else,
And nothing else can make me happy.
I feel like I want to die.
I don't want to do anything.
I just want to drown in sorrow,
Because nothing can bring me up again.
Why couldn't I be a certain way,
Why couldn't I do these things?
Why did I have to be born this way?
I'm not happy with the things I have.
I feel like nothing,
Because of what I don't posess.

Don't show me your drawings,
I don't wish to see them,
I don't want to see that gorgeous girl
Riding on that gracious stallion.
They just remind me of what I'm not,
The things I can't do.
Don't show me your new story,
Because my pen is not as gracious as yours.
That writing is so elegant, so fancy,
And mine is just a scribble.
And please don't say you're better than me,
Because no one quite knows for sure.
Just don't even speak.
It makes me feel like nothing,
It reminds me of my inferiority.

I know you mean no harm,
I know you're just trying to be a friend.
But I want to do the things you do,
And that hurts.
It cuts open my heart,
A a knife through bread.
It reminds me that I'm not as good as you,
That I can't do anything you can.
Stop making me feel inferior to you.
I'll never be you,
And I'll never do the things you do.