The Peacemakers?

Ah, Christmas time and all the family emotional upheavals that come with it. Don't we all have a completely wonderful time? No? Not me either.

I learned at my mother's knee to be the peacemaker in the family. Someone has to be the one to keep things from totally exploding when all the juevenile emotions rear their heads and everyone wants "their" Christmas to be exactly as "they" want it to be.

Adults are never really adults when it comes to Christmas and all the old disappointments and memories of wishes that didn't come true show themselves most strongly with the expectations of the current Christmas to be.

It doesn't matter how much effort was made to try to have Christmas be the best that it can be, it can never be the dream come true for everyone. Hubby wanted the tree up at the first of December. Well, we had carpets laid and they were delayed and the weekend that had been planned to get Christmas started early didn't happen because all the things from the house were piled out in the garage waiting to be put back in after the carpets were finished and they were piled in front of all the decorations! Ok, so we didn't get started when we wanted. Christmas is more than the tree and the decorations, isn't it? Apparently not.

The peacemaker tryies to soothe.

The adult daughter starts to whine about how now that her mom has re-married that she doesn't feel she is part of the family and how it had "always" been just her and I while she was growing up and now "he" will probably take the house she had expected to inherit and all the family heirlooms. Her memory is convenient. She always "used" Mom when it was convenient and if there was something better she was scarce. Mom's house has always been "hers" to do with however she chooses and had always expected it to be her nest egg when she was needing elder care. However, she still is the blood and...

The peacemaker tries to soothe.

The granddaugher, has become the foster daughter because the daughter has ruined her life from years of drug abuse and the horrible things that seem to happen to women on the streets living and getting drugs is unable to work, on welfare and is so self pitying that she is an inadaquate mother. This granddaughter has learned too many lessons of selfish behavior and has been forced to resort to acting out as the only means of getting attention from a parent who is usually glued to the TV or doing pencil drawings. She has made wonderful progress in the almost year that she has lived with us, and is learning to care about other people, except.. Christmas is coming and she wants. Wants just about every expensive electronic toy you can think of and as kids do at Christmas, their selfish side begins to shine.

The peacemaker tries to soothe.

So many times the peacemaker tries to soothe, to placate, to give in, to make concessions. But who soothes the peacemaker? Who appreciates the chunks of her soul that she must give to try to keep the peace?

Ah, Christmas. That is the secret. That is the lesson we are supposed to learn. If we all could be the peacemakers then there would indeed be Joy in Christmas.