Dear Me

Dear Me,

         This New Year you shall no longer procrastinate making out a list of resolutions, giving the convenient excuse that it is not part of our tradition or culture. One can always borrow attractive or enriching customs from other cultures without diluting our own. This will naturally allow Me to resolve to be more tolerant of other people and their customs. I’ll help you of course, we are like Ego and Id, each exists but merges seamlessly in the mind.

         The first resolution naturally, is to make realistic resolutions; there’s no point jumping off impossible heights on the first try. Baby steps, baby steps.

         OK, the first real resolution will be to value yourself on your own terms. You do not need validation from all and sundry. The laundry guy can raise one languid eyebrow at your ketchup soiled silk sari or turn down the corner of his mouth just so, at the large tear you need darned in that chiffon dress, you will not, repeat WILL NOT, babble explanations to him. He doesn’t really care that it was your infant son’s fault for tugging at the dress or your klutzy husband who knocked the ketchup bottle onto your lap. In fact he does it just to intimidate you into paying his outrageous prices with murmurs of gratitude. It is his livelihood, he’s a cleaner of clothes, stand tall, look him in the eye and tell him politely but firmly that you want it back in pristine condition in 24 hours. Then walk straight into your boss’ office and ask for a raise; heck, go with the mood. If that's too big a step, at least soak in a bubble bath after going home and let Daddy and the ‘infantry’ know it's Leftover-Surprise Day.

         The second resolution will be to have more resolution. Here I mean both the steel that stiffens reluctant spines, and the determination to find solutions to the niggling problems you previously tried to slide past or step over. (You might also resolve never to end a sentence with a preposition, but you can let that one stay in, just for a reminder of what not to do.) What do I mean? Remember how the kids always show the inflexible purpose of the endless rains of peak monsoons, they may slow to a drizzle or light misting of fine droplets, but they never, ever, STOP. Lightning and thunder are not infrequent accompaniments. These kids trot out one flimsy reason after another for their latest demands, undeterred by the cold reception awarded to the previous one. It ranges from the puerile 'Everybody has one' to the cunning 'I study better if I have it' , and can be supplemented at any moment by the welling of a slow wave of tears to a quivering under lip or pouting puppy-dog face. Be inventive with your reasons for denial too. Try 'Well, then you will have the cachet of being the only one without one.' or else baffle them with a sweet smile and 'Unfortunately I find the housework suffers with it.' Be firm and let the message get through that No means NO! This will also be a valuable tenet that will serve them in years to come.

         Another important thing, Me. I noticed that you spent a large part of last year grumbling that no sooner did some bonus appear, or some deposit mature, than some expense would suddenly rear its head and wash away the entire amount. You even felt God was playing a cruel joke upon you. This year let your third resolve be to look at things in a positive light. For every expense that was likely to overcome you, God sent you the money ahead of time, so that you could be beforehand with the world. He has never led you into debt. Take time out to close your eyes and send a prayer of grateful thanks.

         Me, my dear, remember that credit card companies are not going to pauper themselves just to offer you money to splurge. Remember that old Indian saying ‘Stretch your feet according to the length of your blanket/covering’. So OK it doesn’t translate well, but you know what I mean. Spend only what you can afford to pay when the bill comes home to roost. Do not fall in the trap of next month’s deferred payment by making a minimal payment now. You pay up to thirty-six percent interest on that money, calculated on per annum basis. As a fourth resolve, think of it instead as a ‘debit’ card that reduces your bank balance accordingly.

         If you want to splurge there’s an age old and infallible method. Squirrel it away first. If you can, hide about five to ten percent of the household expenses, say put it in a plastic bag and immerse it in a cup full of water and freeze it. The time it takes to defrost and melt the ice will give you enough opportunity to think over whether spending that last bit is necessary. I know you are smart, Me. Put it in a metal cup or bowl so that you won’t be tempted to use the microwave to facilitate an impulsive purchase. That will take you through resolve number five.

         Lastly Me, take time out to remember the age-old courtesies. Revive the forgotten language. No, no, I’m not talking of Sanskrit. It is the language of ‘Please’ and 'Thank-you’. You deal with so many people every day, do you take time to thank those who do the jobs you set them? Of course, it is their job, but they will do it with a song in their hearts if you use the magic words. They will remember it too, and this will reinforce their future co-operation. You are quick to point out their shortcomings, point it out when they meet or even exceed expectations. You will soon be working with a song in your heart too.

         Half a dozen resolves is reasonable, achieve these and make them so much a part of your life that they do not become recurring yearly resolves.

         What about You? Is that your worry? I am not separate from Me. So today I resolve to help Me fulfill these resolutions. I also resolve to repeat this exercise every year. I will distance myself from Me and take a good hard look at my Life and how I can take the path to improving its quality.

                              Always remember, I am with Me.
                              in constancy,
                              Yourself

         Thank you StoryMaster v.08 and WDC.

         That’s Me starting on the resolutions with enthusiasm
PS.


10th October 2008: Almost the year gone and I look back in satisfaction.

I did it! I made time for myself, I learned to depend on internal validation, I took time to say 'No', with polite firmness, I squirreled away money and got myself some nice stuff without plastic debt, I respected and was courteous to the faceless multitude, I thanked God for all the small mercies of Life!

I am incredibly more content with just the same things in Life, all it took was a change in attitude. So thanks once again to WDC and the Story-family!

Well Done! You have found Egg # 22, contact MaryLou to find out if you were the first, whether it is a good one or a rotten one, and what the prize may be.
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