Why

The poison courses through my veins,
As I stand on the edge of a high ledge.
Unconcerned with my remains,
As I face the end of knowledge.

A snug fit rope around my throat,
My wrists are bleeding free.
There’s water coming in this boat,
As the unknown dark awaits me.

How many ways to bite the big one?
Go to sleep in the deep soil.
The final setting of my sun.
The shaking loose of this mortal coil.

Not enough highs, too many lows,
What’s left on this big, dirt ball?
Nobody knows where the cold wind blows,
With my back against the wall.

Am I supposed to stay for love?
Am I supposed to cherish pain?
Will I still see my Lord above?
If I take a short ride on the D train.

If love is enough to keep me here,
Why do I still hurt inside?
If love can vanquish all my fear,
Why do I still think about that ride?

Death is life’s destination.
It’s the only ultimate ending.
Why is there still hesitation?
Why is my will power bending?

Hope springs eternal, they say.
But I’ve tasted all I want to taste.
So why am I trying to stay?
If I think there’s not much left to waste?