Dear Me (my promise to you.)

Dear Me,
2007 was the worst year of your life and 2008 isn't going to be easy. So here are my promises to you to help you through it.

I promise that each time I look in to his childrens eyes, I will look in to his eyes and remember him. I will see each tear that falls as a symbol of our love. I promise I will cling to the good days and enjoy them, and that I will look to the good days on my bad ones. To remind myself that they will pass by.

I promise I will cherish the kind words of those around me, and to try and disregard the thoughtless and harsh words. I will recognise when I need help, and ask for it. This one will be tough. I know you hate asking for help, but you can't do everything by yourself and you need help now more than ever. SO SWALLOW THAT PRIDE!

I promise to fill each day with the love and laughter that he brought into or lives. I know you don't feel like it most of the time. You really need to find the joy in your life so the children can have some in theirs. I will be honest with myself and those around me.

I promise to try to not get bitter when others talk about their problems. By reminding myself that their problems may just be, the hardest thing they have ever had to deal with. When your sister talks about her divorce, don't get stuck on the fact that her kids can see their dad. Nath didn't choose to leave you, Her husband DID!

I promise to watch "Top Gear" on his behalf and pay attention to the programme, and not just gawp at Richard Hammond. Allow yourself a little gawp without feeling guilty about it. After all Nath never had a problem with it before.

I promise to look to the past with love, fondness and the occasional bucket or two of tears. And to look to the future with hope, strength and the wisdom of love. If you keep seeing the future as a big, empty,bleak entity, then thats just what it will be.

I promise to work towards the goals we made together, to cling onto our dreams and plans. DON'T FORGET TO MAKE NEW ONES AS WELL

I promise to not be too hard on myself when things go wrong. Treat yourself with the same love and kindness that he treated you with. To pick myself up and carry on, holding my head high.

I promise to honour his memory.
By loving life as he did,
By loving him,
By loving his Children,
BY LIVING!

All my love
me.