Dear Ant Coot

Dear Ant Coot,

I know it’s been a long time and me being your favorite niece and all, I should have kept in touch more. I’ve been really busy with this new invention. It all started with just an idea to make a robot that could cook. You know how I always have these half baked ideas about inventing stuff; well, this was no different.

I did all my research and started on my project and everything was going so well. I had the plans laid out and ended up with a robot that I named Shirley. She was quite a dish. She was almost human like with the exception of her wire arms and legs. All I had to do was make sure the kitchen was Shirley-proof.

Now, to find something simple to cook that would test Shirley’s skill. Making coffee was too simple and a real grind and could be a strong and heated undertaking. Mac and cheese sounds like a nice easy dish. All you have to do is boil water, throw in the noodles, drain and add the cheese. It couldn’t take a rocket scientist to carry out this plan.

I situated Shirley in the kitchen and programmed the instructions. She started out slow and turned on the stove with her robotic arm. She seemed to be in her element. She reached into the cabinet for a pot and couldn’t decide so she brought them all out. As pots and pans are flying everywhere, the burner becomes redder and the stove ignites. There’s fire, pots and pans ablazing. The heat was in tents. All hell was breaking loose and Shirley is whirling around the kitchen dinking cooking sherry. The water was running, the robot was crazy and the kitchen was chaotic. All is calm now and there is only minor damage.

I think she just needs a few adjustments. If you could just send enough money for me to call the damage cleanup people and a little extra for the adjustments needed for Shirley, I think I have the perfect invention this time.

Aunt Coot, you are the only one who ever had any faith in me. What do you say? Trust me one more time.

Your nice niece,
Mary Ann