A 'Dairy' Unexpected Event

My Round 1 entry for: "Tourn-a-Rounds" ! Enjoy, and let me know what you think!

To my dear, intelligent, beautiful sister Maybelle,

         I am sorry to be writing to you out of the blue like this, but I sort of need your help. I had a little accident, and I would be very grateful if you could lend me some money. Before you can say no, please allow me to explain myself. Mother tells me that you’re very busy preparing for your next marathon, but I’m hoping that you will hear my proposal out and then run with it.

         As you know, I work as an accountant for a major dairy farm up North. It’s called Midway Dairy. Lately I’ve been working a lot of hours. They tell me I am the most dedicated accountant they’ve ever hired, and believe me when I say that they are milking it for all it’s worth. Last Thursday I was driving the company Cattleac to a big meeting in Washington. I knew that if I was late, the boss would hang me out to dry. I had stayed up late the night before to finish my lecture, so of course the next morning, I overslept. There was no way I could make it to the meeting on time, especially if traffic was bad, so I was going to take the train. But these days it seems like the railways have the lousiest service…must be because all the engineers are in training.

         So anyway, I decided to drive, and I was speeding just a bit. At a quarter to eight, my boss called. He wears a watch on both wrists and is always checking the clock. Sometimes I think he’s a little cuckoo, but my co-workers tell me he just likes to make sure we’re getting the job done. While I was explaining the situation to him, and trying to come up with some valid excuse for running late, I failed to notice that the stoplight down the road had turned red. I accidentally rear-ended the car in front of me. However, contrary to popular belief, European sports cars are no safer than their American counterparts. I mean, in a crash even a Mercedes bends. I found this out first-hand. Oh, and just so you know, I may or may not have been going 60 miles per hour immediately prior to the accident. Just like you may or may not have broken Mother’s favorite lamp in the 6th grade. Keep that in mind while you’re reading this letter. It would tear her to pieces to know it was you after all these years.

         Thankfully, no one was injured in the accident. Lucky brake, huh? (Even though I just about died of a heart attack!) And the owner of the Mercedes-Benz was really nice about it. I can’t quite remember his name. He was some famous scientist. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell? Anyway, it doesn’t really matter. My boss, on the other hand, wasn’t so happy. I completely missed the meeting, and did quite a bit of damage to the Cadillac. He told me not to bother coming in on Monday.

         So now, not only am I out of a job, but I also owe Midway Dairy three thousand dollars and the Mercedes-Benz guy four thousand dollars. If you would please consider loaning me the money, I will repay you as soon as I can. Until then, I guess it’s back to the barnyard for me.

         Hope to hear from you soon!
                   Your amazingly wonderful sister,
                                                 Herda Livestock


PS- there is a 75 GP auto reward for reviews of over 255 characters,a nd I will also give out an extra 10 GPs to reviewers that qualify for every pun they find. There should be 10...that's 100 easy GPs!