Betrayed

I reached for the jeans that I had tossed carelessly onto the floor.  Sliding one leg through, I turned to look back at the gorgeous, half naked figure lying beside me.  "I gotta go," I mumbled.
         "No, you don't.  You don't have to go to work for another four hours," Nate protested as he sat up.  I slipped my jeans up over my hips, buttoned and zipped them, then stood.  I made my way across the room, and stood in front of the full-length mirror he had nailed to the wall.  Through the mirror, I watched him roll out of bed.  I ran my fingers through my dirty blonde hair as he strolled over to me.  He wrapped his arm around my waist, placed his hand on top of my hip and pulled me closer to him.  "What's wrong?" he asked as he kissed my shoulder. 
         "Nothing.  I just have a headache."
         "Liar.  Something's bugging you, what is it?" he murmured into my neck.  I jerked away at the unexpected touch, but leaned back into it slowly, letting him kiss me.
         "This is wrong.  We shouldn't be doing this."
         "Aw, come on, Mia.  Don't start with this shit, not now; it‘s too early," he used his hold on my hip to turn me around to face him.
         "She's my best friend, Nate."
         "She's not going to find out, she‘s in Colorado, remember?  Besides, what she doesn't know won't hurt her," he lowered his face to mine and landed a kiss on my lips.  I let the kiss last about thirty seconds before shaking my head and backing away from him.
         "She's not on a permanent vacation.  She's coming back in two days, and somehow I don't think she's going to approve of this."
         "Look, Krissy and I have been going through some rough times for the past few months, you know that.  And honestly, I don't know how much longer me and her are going to last," he confided.  Boy did I know all about Nate and Krissy's relationship problems; after every fight Krissy called me, and I would reluctantly have to spend hours trying to convince Krissy that things would get better, even when I knew they wouldn‘t. 
         "Relationship issues or not, we've been hooking up for awhile now.  I'm tired of being the girl on the side, and always having to sneak around.  I'm tired of listening to Krissy complain that she knows you're cheating on her and not be able to say anything about it."
He released his hold, stepping back, "So, what are you saying?  You want to end this?"
         "I don't know.  I'm not sure what I want; but I do know you need to make a decision.  It's her or me, you can't have both."
         "Apparently I can, you wouldn‘t be here if I couldn‘t have both," he grabbed a muscle shirt from out of his dresser and pulled it on over his head.  "But I know where you're coming from, and you're right.  It's not fair to you.  Come on, I'll walk you out."
         "You're really gonna walk out like that?"  I asked, gesturing to his boxers and muscle shirt.  He nodded, grabbed my hand and walked me to the door. 
         "Mia, I love Krissy but it's just for the past few months we just haven't clicked.  I don't know what it is, I wish I did."
         "Ok, you and Krissy don't click but we do?"  I questioned.
         "We've clicked since day one.  I don't think we've had an unclicked moment in ten years.  From the first day I met you, I knew we were gonna be real good friends."
As we walked out of the apartment building I asked, "Why do you think you and Krissy are having problems?"
         "I don‘t know," he shrugged.  "We don't get along like we used too.  Things have changed, she's changed."
         "Could the reason you don't get along be because she's going to college in the fall?"
         "Hold on, she got accepted?" he asked, tugging on my arm. 
         "She didn't tell you?"
He shook his head and sighed, "I told you things got real bad."  I pulled my car keys out of my pocket and glanced over to my car.
         "I'm sorry, sweetie, but I really gotta go.  I'll call you later."
         "Promise?"
         "Promise," I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed tightly.  "This all needs to get worked out soon.  I really hate lying to her," I thought to myself.  I kissed his cheek before turning and walking to my car.  I put the key in the lock and looked back to find him still standing in the doorway.  I waved as I got in the car, then waved again as I pulled off.  It was a ten-minute drive from his apartment to my grandmother's house, but I made it twenty.  I needed time to think about my relationship with both of them and try to figure out whose relationship was more important.  When I finally got home, I parked the car on the street and grabbed my bag from the backseat.

                                                                      ****

I kicked off my sneakers and dropped my cell phone on the bedside table.  I reached down for the charger and plugged it into my phone.  I had just sat down when it started to ring.
         "Damn it," I growled, leaning forward and snatching the phone off the table.  I glanced down at the screen to see who was calling.  "Hey, Krissy."
         "Hey, hey, hey.  Guess who's back in town?"
         "What?  I mean really.  We should get together."
         "How about later today?"
         "Yeah, yeah, let me just call my job and let them know I'm not coming in.  I'll call you right back," I left her listening to a dead line as I folded my phone shut.  I waited about a minute, and then dialed Nate's number.
         "Miss me already?"
         "No.  Well, yes, but that's not why I called.  Krissy's back," I blurted out.  "She just called me."
         "Damn.  I guess that means no dinner and movie for us tonight."
         "No.  Me and Krissy are hanging out later; maybe you could stop by after?"
         "I'll see what I can do, babe," he hung up, and this time it was me who was left listening to a dead line.  I dropped the phone onto my bed and sat there for a few minutes in silence.  Then picked the phone up and called Krissy back.

                                                                      ****

         "Have you seen or talked to Nate since you've been home?"  I asked from my bathroom.  I was standing in front of the mirror and straightening my hair, preparing for an afternoon out with Krissy.  Before she had a chance to speak, my phone began to ring.  I heard her, rather then saw, lean over to glance at my phone to see who was calling.
         "Umm, Mia?"
         "Huh?"
         "Why's Nate calling you?" she questioned, picking up my still ringing cell phone.  I poked my head out of the bathroom and shrugged.
         "No clue," I lied.  "Maybe he's calling me by mistake; you know our numbers are similar."
         "Yeah, maybe," she put the phone back down on the side table and got up from the bed, and then she walked over to my closet.  I watched as she opened both doors, and then went back to straightening my hair.  I heard the screeching of the hangers against the metal bar as she scanned the rack of clothes for a different shirt for me to wear since my younger brother had so kindly spilled fruit punch on me before she came.  "Where‘d you get this?"
I stuck my head out again to look at the shirt she held in her hand; I shrugged, I vaguely remembered getting the shirt but I replied, "Mall, I think."  She examined the shirt for a few minutes while I finished up in the bathroom.  She didn't look up when I finally came out.
         "You said you got this where?"
         "The mall, I think."
         "Really?  Because this looks exactly like the shirt I left at Nate's house the day before I went to Colorado."
My stomach dropped and I felt as if my heart was about to burst through my chest.  I slowly began to remember taking that shirt from his house and washing it, because I had planned to wear it out on our date that night.  "You know, I think you're right.  It is yours; Nate had asked me to give it to you..."
         "Because?" she asked.  She laid the shirt down on the back of my desk chair.
         "Because...look, I don't know why he gave it to me.  He wanted me to give it to you, I guess.  Come on, I know what you‘re thinking; Nate is not cheating on you with me," I lied.
She was quiet for some time then started to laugh a little, "I don't know what I was thinking.  Of all people Nate would cheat on me with, I don't really think you'd be one of them."
         "Bitch," I thought to myself.  "You're so clueless," my phone began to ring again, and this time I was the one close enough to pick it up.  He was calling me again.  I flipped the phone open and held it to my ear, "Hello?"
         "Krissy still there?" he asked.
         "Mhm, and will be for a while.  Why, what's up?"
         "Nothing, I kinda wanted to see you," he replied.  I turned my back to her, and tried to keep the conversation as low key as possible, but I felt Krissy's eyes on me and it was beginning to get hard.
         "Sorry, maybe later."
         "Yeah, I guess," he hung up abruptly, obviously pissed off.  I snapped my phone shut and shoved it in my pocket.  Now I was a bit annoyed, if it wasn't for her being there at that moment; he would have been at my house in a heartbeat.

                                                                      ****

         "Those jeans looks amazing on you," I commented from my comfy chair in the dressing room as Krissy stepped from behind the door.  My anger had long since died down, and I was actually having a good time, as I usually do.  I watched her turn to look at herself in the mirror.
         "I wouldn't say amazing, but they do look good.  What do you think, should I get them?"
         "Yeah, as long as you let me wear them too," I joked.  We both knew I would never fit her jeans.
         "Right, like your size 3 ass is gonna my size 7 jeans.  They'd fall right off your bony ass."
         "For your information, Miss Know-it-all, I am a size 5 now," I threw a hanger over in her general direction.
         "I'm sorry, how‘d you do that?  Go from eating one cracker to two?" she tossed the hanger back.  I flipped an all too familiar finger and stretched out in the chair, throwing one leg over the arm of it.  As she stepped back behind the door to change, I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket.  I pulled it out and flipped it open. 
I had a text message from Nate, and it read, "U still with Krissy? "
         "Yep.  At the mall," I responded back.  It wasn't long before I received another text from him.
         "Ditch her.  I need 2 see u."
         "Can't.  We'll meet up later.  Promise."
         "Hey, you ready?"  I looked up from my phone and nodded.  She put two pairs of jeans and a shirt onto a rack hanging by the entrance to the dressing room then went to find an open register.  I hit the send button and followed her out, tucking my phone back into my jeans pocket.

                                                                      ****

         "Have you told Nate you got accepted to Michigan State yet?"  I asked.  I pushed open my bedroom door and walked in.  She followed me in and dropped her bags by the door.
         "Not yet.  Besides its only April, I haven't decided if I'm going there or not.  I'm still waiting for the letter from Penn State, that's where I really want to go."
         "You're lucky.  At least you can have college choices right now, and have colleges fighting over you.  While you go to Michigan State or where ever you decide to go; I'll be stuck at McKinney High...again," I plopped down into my computer chair.
She sat across from me on the bed and laughed, "It's not my fault you dicked around all year and don't have the credits to graduate now."
         "Dicked around?  My grandma was basically dying, and I'm sorry I was taking her to doctor appointment after doctor appointment."
         "Mia, your grandma has been sick for years.  Yeah, I know she got really bad this year, but don't use her as your excuse for not graduating this year; especially since she went into remission in January."  I was starting to get pissed off.  She knew my grandmother's situation with her cancer, but she still had the audacity to talk about it as if it were nothing.  I glared at her and dug my nails into the arms of the chair.  "Besides, most of her appointments were in the morning, you could have come to school afterwards."
         "Get out."
         "What?"
         "Get out.  Go home.  Go somewhere just get away from me.  As my best friend, I can't believe you would even say something like that to me.  The most traumatic years of my life, and you're just blow them off because she's better now?  You have no idea what its like to live with her when she sick like that, you feel so helpless because there's nothing you can do to ease her pain; no matter how much you want too," I gripped the chair tighter and fought back tears as I spoke.  After taking several deep breaths, I finally composed myself enough to get up and yank my bedroom door open.  She stared at me for a few minutes, highly confused, then nodded and walked out of the room, grabbing her bags as she went.

                                                                      ****

I slammed the car door shut and shoved the key into the ignition.  I was fuming, and knew it wasn't a good idea for me to be driving; but I needed to get away, even if it was only for a little while.  I had no idea where I was going to go, I'd probably drive around aimlessly for awhile then head over to Nate's; he had a way of calming me down, even when I just wanted to be mad.  My body was shaking, I was so pissed; I banged my hands down on the steering wheel and let out a scream.
         "God damn her!"  I heard my phone ringing somewhere on the passenger side of the car.  I checked the seat, and then found it on the floor.  I prayed it wasn't Nate again; I couldn't deal with him while I was still this angry.  I looked down at the screen and saw it was my grandmother calling, so I answered it as calm as possible, "Hey, Nana," I paused as I listened to her ask me if I remembered that my brother had baseball practice and that I promised to take him.  "Nan, I remember.  I'm gonna take him.  I just needed to cool off.  No, it's nothing you should worry about," I paused again, listening to her cough.  "Take your medicine, I'll be home later.  I love you," and with that I drove away from the house.  I still had no idea where I was driving too; I was probably going to end up at Nate's earlier than I expected.

                                                                      ****

         "Can you believe she would even say that to me?"  I asked, after retelling the fight to Nate.  I had only driven around town for about ten minutes before I found myself in the parking lot of his apartment complex.  It surprised me that I didn't see her car anywhere in the parking lot.  I was sure she would immediately drive over there after our fight.
         "She was out of line, yes, but she's kinda right," he replied as he pulled me into a hug.  He rested his chin on the top of my head as I listened to his heartbeat.  "Maybe you should have gone back to school after Ms. Rose's doctor appointments."  I smiled into his chest; I loved the way he called my grandmother by her name and not just referring to her as my grandmother.  It made him sound so much more of the man I knew he could be.  As we stood there, I started to think about the fight Krissy and I just had; maybe she was right; maybe I did screw around too much this year.  I mean sure, my grandmother had cancer and I was the one taking her to appointments, but they were in the morning; I could have dropped by school afterwards. 
         "Yeah, but I just couldn't leave her.  If it was me, she wouldn't have left my side; so I had to do the same," he lifted my chin with his finger, tilting my head back until our eyes met.  He kissed me slowly, and then hugged me again.
         "Ms. Rose is in remission now, so everything is gonna be okay.  You're gonna graduate, it's just gonna take another year to do it."
         "Yeah, I don't think so.  I think I'm done this year."
He pulled me away from his chest and held me at an arm's length away and stared at me for a minute or two before shaking his head, "No, you're gonna graduate.  If you don't do it for yourself, at least do it for Ms. Rose; you owe her that much.  Especially for taking in both you and your brother when your mom..."
         "Let's not talk about her, okay?"  I interrupted him.  I didn't need to be reminded again of one of the many reasons my brother and I lived with our grandmother.
         "All I'm saying..."
         "I know what you're saying; I just don't want to hear it right now," I sidestepped him and headed for the couch.  He trailed behind me and sat next to me, putting his arm around my shoulders.  He turned the TV on and flipped through all the channels, then handed me the remote.  I turned the channel to Lifetime and dropped the remote in my lap.
         "Aw hell no," he grabbed at the remote and I grabbed at his hand.  Our eyes connected and we stared at each other.  After that, it was like a love scene in one of those cheesy chick flicks; eyes closed, lips connected and we were lost in our own world.

                                                                      ****

         "What the hell?" my eyes flew open at the sound of her voice.  I broke the kiss quickly and stood up.  He turned around to see who it was then stood up too.
         "How did you get in here?" he asked.
         "Hello, hide-a-key was my idea.  What the hell is going on here?" neither one of us had heard the door open.  He looked at me, then at her, then back to me.  I shrugged and she nodded, like that was all the explanation she needed.  "How long has this been going on?"
         "Few months," we answered together.  He walked towards her and she backed up.  She rubbed her face with her hands and took a few deep breaths.
         "So I was right, you were cheating on me," she walked around him, carefully avoiding his outstretched arm and ended directly in front of me.  "And you knew all along."
         "What was I supposed to tell you, Krissy?  That I was hooking up with your boyfriend behind your back?  Yeah, that would have went over real well."
         "Mia, please, don't even try to explain yourself.  I thought you were my friend?"
         "I am."
         "No.  You were my friend.  True friends don't do this kinda shit," she turned on her heel and stormed past to him to the door.
         "Krissy, wait.  At least let me explain," he uttered as she ripped open the door.
She paused, still with her back to him and growled, "You have one minute.  Good luck, because there's no talking yourself out of this."
         "I've been trying for months to end things gently with you, but every time I tried you would make me feel like shit for even thinking about it; especially with the gifts and letters and whatnot.  I swear to God I never meant to hurt you; I love you, but I love Mia too," my jaw dropped, and I'm pretty sure hers did too, when he finished.  Never in our four months of hooking up had he ever expressed how had he truly felt about me.
         "Oh, ok, well in that case, I guess that makes everything better?"
         "No," we said in unison.
         "I never wanted to hurt you," he mumbled.  "Mia and I kinda just happened, but it's not something I regret," I sighed and he looked back to me.
         "Right.  So let me go so you can continue not regretting hooking up with my best friend.  Sorry, ex-best friend," she slammed the door behind her as she left.  We stood there for a few minutes staring at the door.
         "That went well," he laughed nervously and I got the feeling that he wanted to be alone, so I gathered my stuff and started to head out.  "Hey, where are you going?"
         "I figured you would want to be alone.  I mean you did just technically break up with her."
         "No, no, don't go.  I want you to stay."

                                                                      ****

After the falling out, Krissy and I didn't talk as much as we used too.  During school we said the occasional ‘hey,' when passing each other in the hall, and only talked in class was it was necessary.  Out of school, we never saw each other, and that was definitely fine with me.  Nate and I made ourselves official almost a month after the big falling out.
         "Are you gonna take your brother to practice?" he mumbled into the side of my head.  My eyes blinked a few times as they adjusted to the light.
         "What time is it," I asked, my voice was raspy from sleep.
         "Nine," he replied as he stretched.  I rolled out of my bed, stretched, and walked over to the bathroom.  I splashed water onto my face, dried it off, and then padded down the hall to my brother's room.  I opened his door and found him still asleep in his bed.
         "Come on, baby, wake up," I pushed his curly blonde hair out of his face.  He opened one eye and peeked up at me.
         "I don't wanna."
         "You have to go to practice, Kam."
He rolled onto his back, "I wanna go see Nana."
         "After practice, Kam," I left his room quickly and leaned against the wall to compose myself.  For being only eight, he had a damn good grasp on the reality of the situation with our grandmother.  I felt bad because I hadn't taken him to the hospital to visit her in almost a week, but I didn't want him to watch her die.  It was bad enough I had to do it.
         "What's wrong," Nate asked when I finally went back to my room.
         "He wants to go see her."
         "Take him, Mia.  You've seen how bad she's gotten.  It might be the last chance he has to say goodbye," he pulled me into a tight hug.  "I know it's hard, babe, you don't want him to see her like that but he needs to be able to say bye."
         "What am I gonna do without her?  I can't take care of him, I can barely take care of myself," I sobbed into his chest.  He rubbed my back and let me cry.
         "You won't be alone," he said abruptly, as if he had been thinking about what to say while I cried.  "I'm here.  I love that kid as if he's my own brother.  I'd do anything for him, just like I'd do anything for you."
I smiled meekly, "Thanks."

                                                                      ****

Dropping my brother off at practice and picking him up had always been my favorite thing to do.  Even before I could drive, I would walk him to the park and walk him home.  It gave us time to bond and talk about what was going on in our lives.  He might not have understood everything I told him, but he was a damn good listener.  So when I had to pick him up from practice that day, after visiting our grandmother in the hospital, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do to tell him that she was going to die sooner than we all had expected.  I waited for him as I always did, outside of the fence, and when he came off the field, I carried his bag for him to the car.  I walked slower than usual, trying to find a way to tell him, but he already knew something wasn't right.
         "Mia, is something wrong?"
         "Umm.  Yeah," I stopped and knelt down in front of him, my hands on his arms.  "Kam, Nana's...Nana's dying."
         "What?  No she she's not.  Why would you say that?" he pulled away from me.  "The doctor said she was getting better!"
         "Baby, listen to me.  I wouldn't lie to you about this."
         "I don't believe you," he sidestepped me and started walking to the car.
         "Kameron Michael, don't walk away from me," I tried to sound stern, but inside my heart was breaking just looking at the tears in those baby blue eyes of his.  "This is serious."
He paused for me to catch up to him, "I wanna go see her.  Now.  Right now, not later."

                                                                      ****

I stopped at the front entrance of the hospital to let him out, "Go ahead.  I'm gonna park, and I'll meet you up there," he hopped out of the car and I had just enough time to yell to room number to him before he slammed the door and took off.  I parked in the visitors' parking lot and sat in my car for a while.  I called Nate and talked to him for a few minutes to calm myself down.  I even thought about calling Krissy to let her know my grandmother was in the hospital.
         "She wouldn't answer anyway," I thought aloud.  I put my keys in my shorts pocket and headed into the hospital.  In the elevator, I shut my phone off, and then hit the button for the sixth floor.  I had my head down as the doors opened and as I stepped out, I bumped into someone on their way in.  "Oh, sorry," I mumbled.  I looked up and met familiar eyes.  "Mom," I shook my head.  "Rachel.  What are you doing here?"
         "I came to visit my mother; is there something wrong with that," she replied casually as if no time had passed since she last seen my brother or me.
         "No, not at all.  I just don't understand why after so many years."
         "I'm clean now, Mia.  Been clean for almost six months.  I wanna start over, start fresh."
         "You're about eighteen years to late to wanna start caring about me now.  And as far as Kam's concerned, don't bother.  He doesn't need you," we locked eyes and I could see the anger building in her grey eyes.
Her finger jabbed into my shoulder, backing me into the wall.  She took a step closer, digging her finger deeper into my shoulder, "Listen, you little bitch, he's mine.  And if I want, I'm gonna get him."
I shoved her away from me, "Don't touch me," from out of the corner of my eye, I saw one of the nurses heading out way, apparently Rachel did too because she pulled me into a tight hug.
         "Is everything alright here," the nurse asked.
         "Yes, everything is fine.  She's just a little upset," she kept me in subdued in the embrace with a death grip on my elbow.  I watched as the nurse turned the corner then tried to pull away.  I felt her breath on my ear as she whispered, "Don't fuck with me, I can promise you wont like the result," she released me, shoving me against the wall.  I watched her jab the elevator button and get on before I went to my grandmother's room.

                                                                      ****

I walked into the room and found Kam lying in the bed next to her.  I leaned against the doorframe and stared at them for a few minutes until she noticed I was standing there and motioned for me to come over.  I sat in the chair next to her bed and rested my arms on the bed.  She rubbed my elbow, "What happened here?"
         "Nothing," I glanced down at my elbow, Rachel's fingers were forming a bruise on my skin.
         "Mia."
I sighed, "I ran into Rachel in the hall.  It didn't go well."
         "What happened?"
         "I don't want to upset...,"
         "Tell me," she wanted to know, demanded to know, so I told her.  I told her everything; how I ran into Rachel getting off the elevator, how she threatened to take Kam, how she threatened me and left the bruise on my arm.  I sat back in my chair, waiting; watching for her reaction.  She had started to shift around in her bed, attempting to get out of it.
         "Nana, what are you doing?  Lay down, you shouldn't be getting out of bed," I tried to gently push her back down into the bed.
         "Get the nurse," she instructed.
         "Are you okay?"  Kam asked.  I looked at her, concern all over my face.
         "Mia, the nurse," I went to the hallway and grabbed on of the nurses.  "Get a pen and paper, Mia.  Write this down.  In the event of my death...,"
         "No, Nana, no.  I can't write this," I wanted her to believe that she was going to get better, that she would get out of the hospital and would be able to continue raising Kam; just like I believed it.
         "Write it down," her voice was weak but stern.  "I need to know that if I die, she will not get him.  I can't go on with life knowing that if something happens to me, she gets him," I nodded, letting her know that I was ready to write.  "In the event of my death, Kameron Michael Lewis goes into the custody of Mia Alexis Lewis and everything; the house, everything in it, and my savings belong to them."
         "Is that all?"
         "Yes, let me sign it, and if you wouldn't mind," she looked up at the nurse, "could you sign this as the witness?"

                                                                      ****

She died four days later, with Kam and I in the room with her.  She went peacefully in her sleep.  Kam was devastated.
         "Come on, Kameron, we're gonna be late!"  I yelled up for him.  He hadn't left his room in days.  I looked at myself in the mirror hanging beside the stairs, fussing with my hair; trying to get to look at least half-decent.  I heard his door open and the shuffling of his feet as he made his way down the hallway towards the stairs.
         "I'm not going," he stated.  I looked away from the mirror and up the stairs at him.  He was still dressed in pajamas.
         "Yes you are.  Get dressed.  Now," the doorbell rang and I stared at him, my eyes telling him I was serious, and then I went to answer the door.  "Krissy, uh, hey," I didn't expect her to be standing on my porch.  The last conversation we had, she clearly stated she didn't want anything to do with me.
         "Why didn't you tell me she died?  Or tell me that the funeral is today?" she asked.
I shrugged, "To be honest, I didn't think you cared."
         "Well I do care.  I think it's pretty fucked up that I had to hear it from Nate."
         "You still talk to him?"
She had a look of disgust on her face, "Yeah right.  He called and left a message telling me what happened."


...to be continued...