Hugh Kept Walking and the Voices Kept Ta

Heavy droplets of rain prodded Hugh’s back like hundreds of tiny fingers poking blame. He sunk himself more deeply into the folds of his overcoat. The usual pedestrians – followers – who filled this street had been replaced by the oily jumping puddles – toxic – of soiled rain water – filth! – that lapped at the lip of the pavement. Those faceless crowds that normally sheltered Hugh from sight were hidden in cars and restaurants, peering out at him – they’re watching – as he continued his solitary march – they’re all watching you Hugh – through the downpour – watching.

As the icy rain seeped through his clothes, it felt as if frozen hands groped his body, pressing his jeans and shirt intimately close to his skin in a hungry embrace. Hugh had hoped that taking a walk would calm his mind – we’re you Hugh we’re all you – but it only increased the wormy feeling of penetration that came – don’t fight us – with the voices.

Orange headlights – watch out – forged a path through the deluge, Hugh watched their progress out the corner of his eye – they’re coming for you – but kept his pace steady. As the car pulled forward he saw a red hood – undercover – with sharp lines, an older model sports car. Hugh heard the dampened growl of the engine – all the better to chase you with – sounding powerful even through the roar of falling water.

As the car pulled ahead of Hugh he saw that it was full of drunken teenagers – coming for you – who’d been out late partying. Half heard profanities – talking to you – reached out of the open window, grabbing after – watch your step – empty beer cans like streamers. With a squeal of wet tires - wait for it – the car was gone and Hugh – not alone – was left with his thoughts – you’re not alone.

Hugh didn’t know where he was walking to – run keep moving keep walking go walk run - and couldn’t remember exactly where he’d come from – a bad place. His memories and dreams had broken and fused in intertwined chaos – who are your voices – and became indistinguishable from each other – we are. Hugh couldn’t keep track of his own thoughts – we’re your friends your friends your dangerous friends – with so many thoughts colliding in his mind.

He couldn’t understand what was happening to him. If only the voices would go away – we can’t we’re you we’re yours. If only they’d leave him alone – no – then he could stop taking these long walks. Then he could stop thinking for a while – no no no – and lay down his tired head – they’re watching you – to rest his agitated – alive you’re alive – mind. But the voices – we’re you! – kept talking – you’re us – and his mind – shhh – kept screaming.

Another car was coming – this is it this is them – from behind again, and Hugh figured – run now go – it would be more of the same teenagers – useless drunks – returning to taunt him like the others –who they them they – that had been following him these past few weeks – here they come.

The impersonal black and chrome – run go run – of the car that approached– run don’t run don’t let them see you – had no number plates – get out of here – and tinted windows – it’s them. Hugh pretended that he didn’t notice, he hunched his shoulders – fight back – and kept walking – run – through the pouring rain and ankle deep puddles – we need to leave here. It was by chance ¬– we told you – that Hugh tripped, as the passenger window slid silently open – Hugh no – and a hand – don’t fall – held a gun – watch out run go – and aimed it – it’s them they I told you we told you – at Hugh’s stumbling form.

Hugh hadn’t seen – we told him – the man or the gun – he wouldn’t listen – that fired a bullet – no! – into his temple – shit – he only felt – oh Hugh – something tear – God no – inside his skull – not again – and was free.