OutCast

Outcast.

Becoming a widow is like being unable to swim and being thrown into the sea in a ball gown. You struggle to breathe as what was once your life crashes into you from all directions. Engulfing you as you struggle to get your bearings and keep breathing.

No matter how hard you kick you seem to get nowhere as the gown wraps around your legs pulling you back into the darkness. Eventually you get your head above water just long enough to discover that most of those that gathered in the early days with their words of sympathy and promises have walked away.

They see you as a reminder of how fragile life is. Some even see you as a threat to their relationship...after all you're single now. NOT THAT YOU GIVE A DAMN your heart, mind and soul are screaming for him. You feel like giving up and letting yourself sink deeper still.

Many times you resurface lasting a little longer each time. The pain is still there but you're learning to cope. The days you thought you wouldn't survive have turned to weeks which in turn become months then years.

Eventually you drag your exhausted battered self out of the water. You walk along the beach your ball gown as tattered and damaged as you are. You hold your head high... fix your hair and your smile.

You don't recognize the world anymore and it doesn't recognize you. Those you called friends have long gone.

Outcast and alone you walk on.