The New WD-40 Easy Oiled Tax Filing

New WD-40, Easy Oiled Tax Forms

A more tender, kinder tax form

"There is no excuse for rude treatment by IRS personnel.  They are on the public payroll, and their job is to serve the public."-US Senator Jim Jeffords

America has always thought of the IRS as the enemy.  They are stung by criticism which ever road they select.  I do think they take the road not taken that Robert Frost writes about but that path is paved for hell.  So I've taken upon myself to do a new form, the 1040 Easy, a sensitive document in order to make us feel better about our tax system.

Name:__________________________________
Address:________________________________
Social Security number:  in order to protect againist fraud, just in case we have employed dishonest employees you can use your last four ditigits.
Favorite outdoor activity:_________________

Attach your W-2 forms here
Total wages and salaries:  __________________
If you are a waitress, since you are treated unfairly and depend on customers to tip you we are going after the resturants to pay you minimum wage, and you can keep your tips.  I know you Hooter girls are jumping up and down right now, wished I was there to see you!
If you have a shitty job please put down the total wages, salaries and tips you deserve and we will take it away from the big companies along with the dishonest non-profit employers.

Use this form if:
1.  You are a U.S. citizen
2.  Your taxable income was over $25,000 and under $100,000
3.  If you are an illegal alien.  Keep filling in this form because we'll have a surprise for you.

If you are underweight, great!
If not.  Eat 5 or 7 small meals a day.  You'll eat less and pay less taxes.

Are you married?
Divorce?
Single and loving it?
Living alone and being envied by your married friends?
Living alone and whinning about it?

If you wish to acquire a partner, go to church, school, or tax preperation course to find a partner.  If you don't feel like doing that don't go to match.com come to us, we know everyone.  We'll find you someone.

If you keep losing your job read the book, "Who Moved My Cheese?"
If you just can't keep a job and you want to do a rewrite:  "Why Do I Keep Moving My Darn Cheese?"

Have you read "The Artist Way?"  If you have feel free to write your feelings in this area.  If you want to color or paint feel free to do your thing.

Deductable items:
Scrapbooking
Soapmaking
Buying GP's for writing.com
Pens and paper
Cameras
All Vet bills
All Dental Bills
Vacations (if you don't get one, please leave your employer's name so we can contact them)

Tell us something about yourself.  Just telling us how much money you have is kind of vague.  We'd like to get to know you better!

Essay question:  What would you change about this form or past forms?  If you get your essay in by March 1, you will be in a drawing for concert tickets to see John Mayer in New York City.

Signature:
Date: