Cat Commandments

CAT COMMANDMENTS




Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is using the computer.

Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.

Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.

Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor, as thou art not transparent.

Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.

Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.

Fast as thou art, thou cannot run through closed doors.

Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's lap.

Thou shalt not climb on garbage cans with hinged lids, as thou will fall in and trap thyself.

Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.

Thou shalt not jump onto a seat just as thy human is sitting down.

Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.

Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slowly.

Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when guests are in the house.

Thou shalt remember that thou art a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.

Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.