Sanity in the chaos

Colors flash, change before my eyes.
The lights all swim, dizzy by design.
Where I am or where I've been
I know not; only that I'm trapped in din.
So much going on, happening everywhere.
My mind can't handle; I fear it will tear.
Constant struggle, back and forth and back.
Full to the brim and more; but, there's something I lack.
There's something out there in the madness-
more than just chaos, lies, and distress.
I close my eyes; I feel it draw nearer.
Open them again, it all melts into a blur.
How can I see without looking?
How can I seek without searching?
I feel lost, disoriented-walls press in.
I haven't a clue; I'm stuck again.
Trapped in silence; deafened by the roar.
I can't collect myself, in two I was tore.
He waits for me out there, out in the chaos.
Though I fear, for him the universe I would cross.